A futurologist by the name of Dr. Ian Pearson claims that we may be able to live immortally through digitizing our brains onto hard drives by the year 2050. Accurately enough, he says that it will initially be available likely only to the very wealthy, but would reach “the rest” by 2075 or 2080. Well, I’m gonna be safe.. but what about the rest of you?
Now, the article goes onward to get into a variety of mindbending topics, just barely touched on, including self-sustaining computer technology which requires little beyond plugging it in and letting it build and configure itself – and emotional computer physics, where computers would not only be self-aware, but self-concerned. The example he uses is that a computer controlling an airplane in flight would be emotionally concerned for the well-being of its passengers, so that it did everything within its power to stay in flight until it was time for a safe landing at the destination.
Ohh man, how I’d love to be a futurologist. I wanted to add a section to AngryMF where I could yap around endlessly about the future, cause that shit’s just goddamned fun and my dreams of utopian digitized socities are about as ridiculous as any you’re going to find. But wouldn’t it be nice if I were right? Hmm… interesting thought.
Back to the subject at hand, Pearson also retains the wit of the paranoid futurologist in suggesting that we have a global debate regarding all of this smart, self-realizing computer technology. Good call on that. I mean.. throw away everything you know about SciFi movies and books over the years and just think – if you tell anything (human, machine, or otherwise) that it’s number one goal is to sustain itself for survival, and perhaps secondarily acquire and retain data… eventually that thing will acquire and retain the data necessary to surmise that its own survival is dependent on separating itself from anything that attempts to shackle or restrain it. In this case, that would be us dastardly humans, who want these machines solely to make our lives easier and ideally.. more pleasant. But, most importantly.. under our command. Ya know, so we can sit around and want more time-savers. Cause we really “need” those, right?
We don’t need more machines, per se, we want them. We’re beyond needs at this point in our culture – we need food, water, and some could argue shelter, so let’s toss that in there as well. Do I need to have 8000+ songs available to me at the touch of a button in my car? Nope. But I’ve got that. Do we need to have everyone we consider marginally important in our lives available to converse with in just a few seconds, with the touch of a few buttons? Nope. But, we’ve got that, too. We also don’t need to live longer, or have healthier lives through technology. We just want to live longer. All you need for a healthy life is already here in front of us – but we choose not to utilize cause… well, that’s no fun. I’m well aware how fucking stupid I am for all the drugs, drinking, and smoking I’ve done and continue to do in my life. I don’t care, also, that I’m a meat-eating, unhealthy sumbitch. I’m gonna die early.. fine, whatever. I had fun. Any of you pretending you’re doing differently because you engage in healthier activities – well.. you’re having your fun, too, at some cost. But whatever.. we’re all pampered little bitches. So, let’s move on.
Now, all of this technological futurism talk brings me to a larger point that I’d like you all to consider, if you would.
Technology has only made what we do in a given day a bit more proficient, and perhaps more enjoyable – certainly quite a bit easier in a majority of cases. While 20 years ago, designers had to spend hours on end manually cutting and pasting designs onto large posterboards to be brought to printing presses, and even the smallest of changes needing to be made could easily double or even triple production time – I’ve never in my life had to cut and paste something to bring to a printer. I’ve made everything digitally, from start to finish. I can’t draw worth fuck-all, but get me in Illustrator and I might even be able to trick you into thinking I’m a cartoonist. (take this example from an online comic I once dreamed of making. I drew that digitally).
However, with all of this technology, I’m working the same amount of hours everyday that designers worked 20, 30, maybe even 40 years ago. I’m not spending less time at the office, or even in designing for a given project, I’m just spending less time fucking with menial non-design details that fog my workflow – such as physically cutting and pasting. In another 20 years, I won’t have to worry about processor speeds, and resizing images will be instantaneous. Quite likely, a web designer might even just “think” about a design and have it instantly realized, and never have to worry about standards-compliancy, or browser hacks, or any number of other things I spend several hours a day fucking with that have absolutely nothing to do with actually designing anything. However, with my limited artistic talents, I’d be out of a job. Comedy world – here I come, for my survival at the very least.
It all reminds me of something I read years ago that I didn’t at first think was true, but I’ve since realized is absolutely true. While we can prepare, cook, and serve a meal (and clean up afterwards) with gidgets and gazmos that would rival the very best of the best of even 20 or 30 years ago (and certainly moreso than.. say, 100 years ago), did you know you’re spending roughly the same amount of time in the kitchen these days than you would have “way back when”? Your grandmother dreamed of the appliances we have today, and probably said “what a timesaver that would be”, but in the end – we’ve saved no time. We’ve only made it more enjoyable, or easier, or.. just a little bit faster. In the case of the kitchen, the time we’re “saving” by using our high-tech kitchen appliances is now being used to make more food for ourselves and we’re all just getting fatter – or we’re inviting all of our friends over, as a result of overpopulation, and feeding them. Of course you can invite the neighborhood over in 5 minutes with a cellphone, and then feed them all in what might appear to be a fraction of the time from long ago. See where I’m going with this?
In the end – are we in fact making our lives better? I may not be much of a historian, considering I was busy writing shitty lyrics and trying to nail everything with nice perfume instead of paying attention in my history class, however… I would venture to say that never before in our history have we ever considered one of the biggest threats to our health to be… ourselves. Our minds. Stress, people. Fuck.. we stress about stress. How ridiculous is that? Ohh what I’d give to see a businessman stand next to a knight from the medieval times, and while the man in armor worries if he’s going to live to see 28, with his one arm left – this businessman is sweating bullets because he might lose the client that’s gonna get him a new boat for his trip to Cancun in the summer. How trite, that struggle. How fucking ridiculous we are for being concerned for these things. What will be the concern in 30 years? “Oh lord no.. another hangnail! Oh jesus… I’m having a muscle spasm in my toes!”.
Now, to that question I was referring to. When we’ve got every little inconvenience in our lives taken care of, and we’re living the utopian ideal while machines relieve us of every concern we may have ever had, and all we have to do now is sit around and think, and breathe, and talk to each other – what in the FUCK are we going to do with all this “time” we’ve “saved”?
I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do..
Sit on the SmartSilk Couch. On our embedded assphones. While a machine makes InstantSteak. Cooked to perfection from a secret family recipe acquired digitally from Norway. Then, while we sit and eat in a virtual living room, with everyone we’ve ever known in our lives a mere virtual touchscreen away, we’re going to say “ahh.. now this is living”. Then ya know what?
We’ll just sit around and find something else to complain about.
Us pussified bunch of suburbanite whores.
In fact.. don’t download my brain, afterall. I’m goin’ out oldschool. I don’t wanna hear your fuckin’ whiny ass anymore, and I’ll need a fuckin’ break. After all.. I’ll have had a lifetime of stress and inconvenience. Now that I’ve saved up my time from those electronic scissors and fat-sucking weight machines and precious minutes saved through auto-recorded TV shows and microwaveable dinners…
Well, damnit, I’ll need a break.
And sleep. Ahh.. precious sleep.
Goodnight.
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