Mitcz.com : Official blog of Rev. Mitcz, the demented devilish comedian from Hollywood, CA.

A few months ago, I made a passing reference to a step-sister of mine, who has more-or-less terrorized the lives of my immediate family throughout the years with the reckless disregard for their emotions, her safety, the well-being of her children, and a variety of other things. In high school, she found a way to be kicked out of 5 (yes, 5) different high schools. That includes a night school of which I even attended one class and the kids in the school were allowed to smoke on campus and make their own class schedules. This morning, my mother called me to say she’s “gone too far” this time.

The Sheriff of Maricopa County, AZ is Joe Arpaio. He’s got a variety of ridiculous ideas, amongst them “pink handcuffs” because criminals would be less pleased with being arrested in pink handcuffs (thereby further dissuading criminals from committing crimes, right?), making inmates wear the classic black-and-white striped inmate suits, and issuing pink underwear with Arpaio’s name on them. This is but a mere glimpse into the ridiculousness of the Phoenix lifestyle, one that I can’t thank my lucky stars enough I’m far removed from and I wish my friends/family over there would follow suit. I spit on Phoenix, that shithole. Oops, I’m digressing…

I mention Arpaio because on the MCSO website, he shows full mugshots of the recently-arrested for all to see. He even has a “crime of the week” feature, where he randomly profiles a new crime, and the most recent folks in jail for that crime are highlighted. A few months ago, I went trolling the site, thinking maybe I’d find an old friend (or pref. enemy) from my days in Phoenix, but I did not.

This morning, however, after the phonecall from my mother, I finally saw someone I knew. And, ohh this tickles me pink. “Smile!”

(Despite looking somewhere near her 40s in that picture – the girl’s some 2 years younger than I am. Proven by the birthdate given above, which shows her as being only 25 years old.)

She’s looking at 10-15 years for armed robbery with a gun registered in her name and recklessly crashing her “getaway van” (which my step-father co-signed for). Yeah, she’s that stupid. The two children she has, a daughter around 6 and a son around 2, have already been out of her possession for the past several months. My mother and step-father have been taking care of her daughter, while her ex-husband’s family are taking care of her 2 year old son. Mind you, my mom’s getting ready to retire. So, you can begin to imagine how annoying this is for them. But, Brittany never gave a shit. Sadly, her father always bailed her out. Always made excuses for her. He paid for the 7 different rehab centers she was admitted to in her late teens, he made excuses for every car accident she managed to get into in the course of 2 years (amongst them – driving away from a gas station w/the gas pump still attached).

I honestly feel very sorry for my step-father. He tried hard to keep her in line, but out of his love for her, he was blinded by many things and it was tough for him to take. I hear he’s pretty much disowned her, and no one’s left to bail her ass out of jail now. I can’t say I blame him, and I hope he takes this as well as possible – considering. It’s got to be tough on him, and for that I apologize, on her behalf, to him.

I exiled this horrible excuse for a human from my life many years ago, and avoided multiple family functions over the years, citing that I didn’t want to have to see or put up with Brittany. They all said “ohh.. she’s different now. She’s a mother. She’s off the drugs”. I don’t drop grudges that easy nor believe pathological liars who’ve proved my extensive study of pathological liars right time and time again that easily, sorry. Try again. A trip made to Phoenix about a year and a half ago with my girlfriend at the time led girlfriend to think “ya know, Brittany’s not bad”. I said “believe me, it’s a ruse”. They all said I was wrong, that she’d changed, she was a different person. Until about March of this year – when, it was discovered, she picked up her long-thought-dead crystal meth (“crack for crackers”) addiction and her husband left w/her son to protect him and my parents took in her daughter.

Now, this comes to light. Congratulations, Brittany. Tell Arpaio I said “howdy”.

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