Mitcz.com : Official blog of Rev. Mitcz, the demented devilish comedian from Hollywood, CA.

I recently decided to really milk the whole “birthday” thing (of which is actually today, if you care) and spend the better part of a week partying. It helps, as well, that BellaVendetta’s launch party was to happen on the 26th of October. Just in time. A perfect reason/excuse/opportunity to check out the city I knew I’d love. And, oh.. I did. Yes, there are some pictures included in this entry.

Rather than chronicle my trip in a linear fashion and try to write some long-winded tale about my time in NYC (which would be difficult to do in any “normal” capacity), I’m going to instead list out the sorts of things that I thought about while there, and afterward. Here, then, are the notes to self about NYC..

1. Pack for cold weather. NYC has more chill, and more wind, than even the coldest parts of Southern California. Oh sure, you might look stylish in a button-up long sleeve shirt and 3/4 length jacket, but you’re going to freeze your sick ass off while you wait for the subway off the Airtram – or when you finally emerge from the subway into Brooklyn. Where it’s raining. And cold.

2. Believe the hype – NY pizza > L.A. Pizza. Better yet, you can get it at 5am when you’re “done” drinking (for the moment).

3. Due to cold weather, the amount of walking you’re likely to do around town, and the natural “high” that NYC gives you just while wandering about, you’ll find your resilience to food and alcohol is much higher than it was in L.A. Use this to your advantage – since the bars don’t close ’til 4am and you can eat at pretty much any time of the day or night, consider everything ingested as sustenance. Moreover, every food item is really just a quick refueling to enable you to continue walking, drinking, and… walking and drinking. Getting drunk is also a near-impossibility – all for the better, cause no one wants to puke in the shared bathroom at their hotel. Me? Never did manage to get really drunk. Nice.

4. Celibacy? In NYC? Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Good try. I’m not made of wood here, people. NYC has a way of making you forget your “rules” but hell.. when you’re on vacation, don’t the rules stay home w/your pets and responsibilities anyway? They should. And they did. Also good to know that, like riding a bicycle, I didn’t forget “how it’s done”.

5. Oh sure, you can live out your mini-dream of having a picture of you smoking in Times Square, but at what cost? Turns out the answer is… another cigarette. Bummed to a street poet, who just saw your NY-native friend snap a tourist shot of you against his will (because he knew what the picture would bring), and said bum thinks “oh good… a sucker” and wants to wax poetic to you about your “mohican haircut, you king of cool” (the poet’s words, not mine). Eh well, a cigarette’s worth the story.

6. When you’re marginally drunk, and you tell your friend who’s bar you’re hanging out at that the horrible musician chick on stage sucks and he should throw her off the stage and you’ll “throw down the comedy bomb” (my actual words) instead, no one realizes you’re kidding. As a bonus – NYC likes “the clown joke”. Hooray for living out another mini-dream. You go, sir.

7. The subway stop in Queens, on the way from JFK airport to Brooklyn, is kinda scary.

8. Strippers, outside of actual strip clubs, are a lot more fun. Especially at porno-site launch parties. Oh, unless their name is “Cherry” and they smell funny. Those are no good. But ones that are models on the site you designed and are partying to celebrate the launch of are wonderful.

9. Bella Vendetta is one badass chick. And, has some great friends. Thanks Bella!

10. It’s absolutely necessary that you slap stickers for BellaVendetta.com on people’s asses. And keep checking said asses to make sure the stickers don’t fall off.

11. Fuck sleeping. Instead, take small “cat naps” and then get the fuck back out on the street – there’s drinking to be done. And eating. And walking. And drinking. And eating. And…. you get the idea. Wake the fuck up!

12. Central Park, while amazing to drive through, is really fucking big. Like… it ain’t a park, it’s a fucking miniature city unto itself.

13. Fuck crosswalks. No one knows what the hell “stop” or “go” means anyway. Just walk when you feel most likely to be able to make it across the street without being plowed down by taxi cabs. Waiting for a walk signal in NYC is a sure sign of being a tourist. Much like asking “what’s a chicken wrap?” in L.A.

14. The Carlton Arms, an ever-changing art project, is the best place to stay in Manhattan. $80/night with a shared bathroom? Fuck yes.

15. The Irish bartender (with genuine Irish accent, no less) at the Irish pub near the Carlton Arms said it best “New York… it’s easy to stay, really hard to leave. I’ve been here for 20 years”. That pretty much says it all.

Thank you, NYC. We’ll meet again, I’m sure of it. I think that’s where I’ll end up. One day. It’s definitely my kinda town. Mucho love. *kisses*

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