Mitcz.com : Official blog of Rev. Mitcz, the demented devilish comedian from Hollywood, CA.

So, many of you may be unaware, but Fuck Season officially starts this Friday (April 14th). For those of you who don’t know what Fuck Season is (and since UrbanDictionary apparently decided to veto my submission of the term) I’ll explain that now and you can all be part of “the loop”.

You see, generally speaking, people who are “still single” by around Halloween will go out and meet someone on Halloween. Since that is easily the sexiest holiday ever, it makes for a great “hook up” night. Post-Halloween, however, there’s not a lot of chances to meet people. There’s Thanksgiving. Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza. New Year’s Eve/Day. Valentine’s Day. St. Patty’s Day, even.

We, as an increasingly shallow culture (don’t worry, I’m shallow too) need ritual and celebration in our lives to bring us together. Things like 9/11 happen and we go “see… color doesn’t matter. gender. religion. sexual preference. We’re all people. Except those damned terrorists with their OTHER religion”. As a “couple”, people like this succession of holidays – it brings them closer together, as a ritual, to celebrate. From November 1st through to the Friday before Easter, there’s a lot of holidays. And a lot of birthdays. Statistically speaking, a SHITLOAD of people are born in February. Over the ~6 month period pre-Fuck Season, there’s a great many birthdays. So, there’s another reason to celebrate.

But then, something happens. Easter comes and goes, and we as a culture look at our mate (in the prime of the fertility season – you didn’t think Bunnies and chocolate were about Jesus, did you?) and we feel… dull. Bored. We need something new, something fresh. Our loins are aflame and we’ve nothing left to celebrate as a couple. Well, damnit all. So, statistically, people tend to break up as the summer draws near and then “regroup” as Halloween approaches (and just beyond then).

Think amongst yourselves about your habits in dating.

It then becomes only natural that we, as a culture, place a marking point for when this transition from “couple” to “single” happens en masse – a unified signal that it’s time to “shit or get off the pot” in relation to our relations. That time is Fuck Season. So if you’re in a vacuous, trite relationship (and let’s be honest – you probably are) and you feel that urge to merge – break free of the chains. Become single. And if you are single (as I am), this is a time for celebration as you embrace your fellow singles, and freshly-divorced and freshly-broken-up (rebound booty – don’t knock it).

Friday, April 14th signifies the first day of the First Ever Official Fuck Season. Spread the word. Tell ‘em the Good Reverend Mitcz sent ya.

Oh, and then fuck their brains out for a few hours. You know you could both use it. So… who’s with me?

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