Mitcz.com : Official blog of Rev. Mitcz, the demented devilish comedian from Hollywood, CA.

It happens but once every few years, at most. I find myself on the receiving end of a spankin’ new Mac. No, not the makeup – the computer. Yesterday was New Mac Day. New 2.0Ghz MacBook Pro Day, in fact.

Here’s a short list of things that make me giddy (from least giddy to most giddy) :

1. Seeing new boobs
2. Caressing and/or smacking firm woman-ass
3. Seeing new vagina
4. New Hardware
5. Good “First-Time” sex.
6. Threesomes
7. Performing a good stand-up comedy routine
8. New Mac Day
9. Being heralded as a king of comedy

(okay, so that last one has never happened, but let a guy dream)

This marks my 8th Mac to date. Let’s count..

1. Macintosh LC (1990) – Received through my mom’s middle school. I learned MacPaint on this fucker.
2. Macintosh Performa 6400/180 (1996) – Our family’s first self-purchased Mac. I learned Web Design on this bad boy.
3. Power Mac 8600/250 (1997) – The first PowerMac I actually owned myself. Bought it with my first credit card after I graduated high school. It’s painted black and sitting in my closet (with a half-installed Linux variant circa 2000)
4. PowerBook G3/233 (1999) – Bought it from an employee at CompUSA. I’m pretty sure he ripped it from them, but I needed a laptop and it was a steal at $700. Is currently lying in pieces in some box or other.
5. Power Mac G4/500 (2000) – My old workhorse. I even wrote a eulogy to it.
6. Powerbook G4/500 (2001) – Bought this off my first porno employer for the price of retouching 1000’s of “big cock” photos. Still have it, though it’s kinda beat up now. It will serve as my “guest PC”
7. PowerMac G5/2.3Ghz DP (2005) – My current workhorse. God I love this thing.

And so, joining the lineage of Mac wonderfulness in my life is my spankin’ new MacBook Pro. Ahh… the wonders of freeloading my neighbors’ WiFi while cruisin’ the net on the toilet. That’s what life’s all about, my friends.

I was actually quite surprised to find roughly 10 WiFi networks within packet-sniffing proximity here at my pad. Almost none of my neighbors have even basic security setup on their networks. I was reconfiguring wireless routers via web interfaces and no one was the wiser. For you kids at home – try typing http://192.168.1.1 into a web browser (that’s for LinkSys routers) or try : http://192.168.0.100 for D-Link routers. If you get a password prompt, try “admin/admin” or “admin” as a login and no password. You’d be surprised how often that works.

I’m also pleasantly surprised at the shear amount of fun little features Apple packed into this MBP. The built-in webcam, for instance, is actually a lot more useful than I thought it would be. Little details make the difference. For instance – to simulate a camera’s “flash”, the MBP blinks a full-white screen at the highest possible brightness, thereby lighting up almost everything within a 5-foot radius. And, it even has enough smarts to run auto-white-balance adjustments when powered up. Here’s a shot Nad and I took during Aural Salvation last night..

Not too shabby, eh?
(and I know your eyes are bleeding over Nad’s fuckin’ shirt. That thing is OBSCENE)

The only thing that’s marginally annoying is that the trackpad button (WHY STILL ONLY ONE BUTTON?? *sigh*) sticks up off the chassis of the machine, and it’s very sharp. So, while my big hands tap away at the keys, the edge of my palms keep getting knicked by the trackpad button. It’s not unusable, but seems like a bit of an oversight from Apple’s perspective.

That having been said, I’m tickled pink that I installed Win2k on the thing using Parallels and it runs fullscreen, at about 85% of the speed of what it would natively. That’s about as fast as I’ve ever seen Win2k run, considering it’s a dual-core 2.0Ghz Intel chip. Gotta try installing XP on there later today, so I’ll have a full suite of cross-platform testing setup. I wonder if running it fullscreen would allow me to sneak into a Windows-only party. Ya know, like when Eddie Murphy was made-over as a working white man for SNL and got a glimpse into life as a white man, and everyone confided in him their hidden racism (like not making him pay for his morning paper cause they “only charge the black guys”). I’m pretty sure that doesn’t happen in the Windows world, but I wouldn’t know… I’m not “one of them”. Until… kinda… now. Muwahahaaa. I’M COMIN’ FOR YA, BILLY-BOY!

Okay, that is all for now.

Diggin' my shit? Well then..