Mitcz.com : Official blog of Rev. Mitcz, the demented devilish comedian from Hollywood, CA.

I’m often in gradual transitions of lifestyle and behavior towards some strange ideal person I’ve cooked up in my head that I hope to one day become.

Moreover, I also pick out behaviors I despise in others and tell myself to avoid inching ever closer to having them myself. The unfortunate side effect of this is that, in moderation, most “bad” behavior is actually good. And normal. Even worth celebrating. When I go too far out of my way to avoid what I find “bad behavior” in others, I risk losing an essential piece of what’s made me…. ya know, ME.

Helluva way to start a blog, but there’s a point a-comin’, I promise. Let’s talk about creeps and creepy behavior.

It’s no secret that I’m full-on single for the first time in almost 3 years. This means I’ve gone back to a Mitcz I was far more comfortable with – the single Mitcz. Who takes opportunities and runs with them. Meeting new people whenever there’s a chance and.. yeah, maybe there’s a date with someone new here and there (specifics withheld to protect the innocent and um.. not-so-innocent).

One thing I’ve seen/heard a lot of over the years is the overwhelmingly creepy behavior of people. Mostly men, sad as it is to say. What women admire and are attracted to above all other things is COMFORT. I could get into a rant on just that alone, but suffice to say that creepy behavior is the world’s biggest turnoff.

So, I’ve become paranoid about being creepy. To such an extent, in fact, that women have recently considered me timid and shy on dates.

Yes, me. The guy who’s stand-up has opened with jokes about baby rape and necrophilia. The guy who spent 4-5 nights a week for over 2 years getting women to flash tits on an internet TV show. The guy who went into the bathroom with my reality show date’s friend to play show-and-tell (oops.. I’m still under contract. pretend I didn’t say that).

But, now I’m timid and shy. And… much as it pains me to say, a bit of a pussy.

How the fuck did that happen?

The grey line.

Look, women tend to dig on a man who’s confident, self-assured, dominant and (sometimes) a bit rough. And that’s great in theory, but… hey, no one likes a rapist. So, you can’t just go around groping women and jerking off in their face at the first sign of a “hello, what’s your name?”.

And therein lies the rub. Because I love talking intimately about sex, and I love the little secrets women hold about their sexuality, I get into these long conversations that I adore the fuck out of. About the first time they saw a penis, first time they held a penis, orgasms, squirting, awkwardness in bed, their penchant for rough sex, you name it. And, because I’m not using this conversation as an interview for potential bedmates, I go out of my way to seem non-threatening. Like I’m Alfred Kinsey or some shit. Or, as they’re more likely to think… their non-threatening gay friend.

This is where it stands, then. I try to not be a creep and I’ve backed myself into situations where women think “aww.. little puppy”. G’damnit, woman, I will cum in your fucking eye.

Just.. ya know, not before I go down on you or something. I’m still a chivalrist.

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