Mitcz.com : Official blog of Rev. Mitcz, the demented devilish comedian from Hollywood, CA.

I recently discovered that a friend of mine has a small degree of separation from Bruce Dickinson. The specifics of how and why are unimportant to this story, as the point of this entry is that her response to my “OMGWTF??? REALLY??” was “yeah… is that a big deal or something?”. She went on to say “I’ve never understood Iron Maiden and never really paid attention to them, so I don’t consider them a big deal”. Interestingly enough, she did admit that an ex boyfriend of hers keeps pairs of Iron Maiden branded Converse in a glass case, and while I would think that crushes all thoughts of them being “not a big deal”, she maintains they’re just another hair band.

I told her that if I were to ask, say, anyone who would respond to such a question who would be included in a list of top 5 most important metal bands of all time, everyone would at least mention Iron Maiden.

To that end, I posted on Twitter (and by extension, Facebook) a question : “What would you consider the TOP FIVE MOST IMPORTANT METAL BANDS OF ALL TIME?”

Before I post the results, let me clarify some things :
1. “Most Important” doesn’t mean “bands you rocked out to more than any other”
2. This is strictly a “metal” list. Hard rock/Classic Rock/Industrial doesn’t count.
3. Album sales definitely have an impact on importance but, for instance, Slipknot’s album sales will NEVER mean shit to oldschool metalheads. And, frankly, they shouldn’t. Slipknot sucks. Get over it.

The List

Here, then, is the full list of bands (in alphabetical order) that were suggested as “most important ever”, in parenthesis is the percentage of times the band was included in people’s answers. If you see a “*”, that means a special note.

• AC/DC (40%)
• Black Sabbath (100%)
• Deep Purple (1%)*
• Gwar (1%)*
• Iron Maiden (98%)*
• Judas Priest (27%)
• KISS (20%)
• Led Zeppelin (60%)
• Mayhem | (1%)*
• Metallica (65%)
• Motley Crue (30%)
• Motorhead (20%)
• Pantera (35%)
• Possessed (1%)*
• Slayer (40%)
• Throbbing Gristle(1%)*
• Tool (5%)
• Venom (1%)*

Deep Purple = Suggested by one voter. Not sure that even counts as “metal”, but included for prosperity.

Gwar = Also suggested by one person. Though I love Gwar, I don’t think they are/were “important to metal”.

Venom, Mayhem, Possessed = All suggested by Shane Bugbee. Amazing and wonderful motherfucker. You should take a moment to vote for him to give a speech at SXSW by clicking here because the story of how he produced an underground documentary about America on zero budget is astonishing — and I say that as a personal friend AND a fan of his.

Iron Maiden = Technically, Iron Maiden got 100% of the vote (along with Black Sabbath), but two people voted twice by coming back later to include Iron Maiden. I’m guessing they saw other people’s comments and added Maiden after the fact.0

Throbbing Gristle = One person voted for this band. In a list of “Top 5 most important INDUSTRIAL bands”, I’d expect this. But they had zero impact on metal. That person conceded as much, and said “okay…. Motley Crue, then” as their 5th choice.

My “top 5″ List

Honestly, I’m trying to stay as unbiased as I can. But, I’ll give my “top 5 most important” and explain why they made it while others didn’t.

Black Sabbath
Does this really need an explanation? 100% of people who heard “important metal” listed Black Sabbath. WIthout question, they are the most important metal band of all time, and are easily in the top 10 for most important bands of all time, regardless of genre. Am I the only one that finds it fascinating that they’re also the only successful band from the late 60s whose original members are all still alive? This includes Ozzy, who apparently was so bored snorting every drug known to man that he even snorted fucking ants. That he’s still alive says to me that he and Satan are close friends. Or that Sharon is Satan’s daughter and she keeps telling her dad that “he’s actually a really nice guy” and he can’t bear to break his little daughter’s heart by killing Ozzy.

Iron Maiden
Take a listen to Killers and you’ll hear the end of punk progressing into the beginning of speed metal. When Bruce Dickinson took the helm as a vocalist, it’s almost as if he introduced the very concept of higher-pitched vocals for metal. That they’ve consistently released albums for almost 25 years speaks to their importance. Surprisingly, they’ve also never sold out to some new genre/style that was popular at the time, either. My personal favorite album of theirs is Seventh Son of a Seventh Son and I can still hear traces of it in A Matter of Life and Death. This might explain why they’ve managed to sell over 70 million records.

Metallica
You can safely ignore everything that happened after …And Justice For All and you’d still have 4 of the greatest albums ever released to the world of metal (or, up-for-debate, across any genre). In fact, what made their self-titled “black album” so upsetting for us longtime fans was that they just got amazingly better throughout each album. To top Justice would’ve been an amazing feat, so I can’t say I’m surprised they didn’t accomplish that goal. As far as I’m concerned, they all died in a terrible accident just after that album and were replaced with clones who looked identical, but had almost none of the talent of their original donors. Still, you can’t underestimate the fact that they’ve sold over 100 million records.

Slayer
I’ll admit – I’m not a big fan of Slayer. But I’d be an asshole and a liar to ignore their impact on the world of metal. They’ve consistently been harder and faster than almost any band out there and they’ve stuck to a formula that works and gets the fans in a whirlwhind throughout the last 28 years, spanning 10 studio albums and 2 live albums totalling roughly 10 million album sales.

Pantera
As far as I’m concerned – the aforementioned 4 bands are mandatory. Whoever you pick as the fifth is just personal opinion. And, in my personal opinion, Pantera was immensely important. They kept the metal scene alive when bands were under-selling, over-producing, and just generally dropping the ball, while shit-ass “neu metal” acts stole the spotlight with mediocre attempts at compiling the masses. I’m looking at you, Slipknot (who, for the record, still sucks), POD (who sucks even worse because they’re metal for Jesus. Umm.. that’s illegal in the metal world, you fuckin’ pansies) and Limp Bizkit (don’t even get me started on these panty-wastes). I also maintain that Great Southern Trendkill is as hard and fast as metal is allowed to go before you’re just singing along to the lead guitarist to prove a point. That theory was proved when even Pantera themselves had to slow down for their lackluster follow-up album Reinventing The Steel (an album that was “too little, too late” as far as I’m concerned). This is also the time to say that while I would love to see a reunion tour, this is one of the few bands that I doubt could ever make it happen not because of the death of their lead singer. To me, Pantera was a whole unit and there’s no way they could kick your face in without Dimebag (or, frankly, any other member of the band). But, it bears repeating – Dimebag Darrell was one of the greatest guitarists in history and arguably the greatest metal guitarist of all time.

Further Thoughts

I was surprised no one mentioned Anthrax, Guns N Roses, or Megadeth. While I wouldn’t personally include any of them in the “top 5 most important ever” list – I can’t say they wouldn’t all easily fit into the top 10. Hell, I’d question the sanity of anyone who wouldn’t place them all in the top 10.

As for Led Zeppelin – I don’t really consider them metal. Hard rock? Sure. Classic Rock? Definitely. But, while I have no doubt they made an influence on a great many metal bands (and by extension, metal fans), I don’t feel right including them in the genre of “metal”. Moreover, every band since the 1950s seems to point to The Beatles as an influence, but I wouldn’t include them in a list of Top 5 Jazz Bands, either.

I’m sure this list will offend a great many people, and I welcome any reponses – but, please take a moment to explain WHY it offended you. It’s only fair.

Diggin' my shit? Well then..