Mitcz.com : Official blog of Rev. Mitcz, the demented devilish comedian from Hollywood, CA.

A series of random thoughts I’ve had recently.

It would be great if…

…the leaders of the Republican party would just drop the shit and say “Okay, okay.. that whole ‘God and Jesus’ thing is just a ploy to retain an emotional stranglehold on the masses so they don’t notice when we financially rape them”

…the U.S. legal system would consider a rape victim’s sexual history, proclivities, social activities and social circle “inadmissable as evidence” and instead focus on the only thing that matters : did the girl get raped? (sidenote : although only 2-8% of rape cases turn out to be lies, only 5.7% of rape cases actually result in a conviction. so, why does everyone focus on the extremely fringe possibility that a girl might be lying?) – sources here and here

…I could be having a fun and interesting conversation with a woman at a bar and could just say “look, you’re attractive and fun to talk to. I’m painfully curious to see your boobs, though. Can we make that happen so I can focus on the rest of our conversation?” without being told that’s “creepy”, “sexist”, “misogynistic” or “promoting rape culture by objectifying woman”. Truly, can’t I love your brain AND your body? Is that so wrong?

…I was on tour right now. Man, that’d be SO great.

…I hadn’t gone through so many financial and employment woes in the last year to the extent that I lost my car. I could aimlessly drive somewhere right now. I miss doing that.

…I was in Vegas. I miss you, sweet Vegas.

…I was going down on a strange woman right now.

…some strange woman was going down on me.

…I knew what the hell I was going to do with my set on Wednesday. I’m sure I’ll figure it out 10 minutes before I get onstage.

…that straight razor I bought the other day had arrived. Don’t know what’s taking so long on that.

…any of the 3 checks I’m waiting on from clients had arrived this week. I’ve got “going out” money, but not enough “pay off all the bills and do some shopping” money until they come in.

…I knew whether or not I got that gig with Playboy TV. Cross your fingers for me, will ya? (even if it means my penis on your TV, just cross ‘em damnit)

…short guys would just try and get a personality instead of pumping iron at the gym and then walking around angry and picking fights with everyone. It’s not my fault that genetics dealt you the Short Guy card. (kudos to you if you’re a short guy reading this, that means you’re reading… and not at the gym, or picking fights. keep that up)

…women would get over the height thing. For all the claims I hear made about men being superficial about looks, feel free to ask any woman you know if they’d date a guy 3-4″ shorter than them. (this also would cut down on the angry-short-guy thing)

…I could find the damned site (for, I think, some brand of tequila) that had women answering common questions about men. The height one didn’t have a single “yes” response to the question “would you date a guy shorter than you?”. If you find the site (it’s black, built in Flash, has green accent lines, and I think it’s part of a viral tequila brand) then please let me know.

…I could stop blogging now so I can head out for the evening.

Oh, wait. I can. Take care.

Diggin' my shit? Well then..