Mitcz.com : Official blog of Rev. Mitcz, the demented devilish comedian from Hollywood, CA.

I was hit with a hair-brained theory about why so many dudes (myself included) will continually be absentee lovers, dismissive, perhaps even outright unfaithful and then pretend we “didn’t mean it” or make up some lame excuse and try to proclaim “but… baby! I LOVE YOU!”. I don’t purport to be above that level – I’ve never been the model of good decision making and undying love as a boyfriend. Instead of “fixing” that, I just stay single. This way, I’m only hurting strangers, right?

Anyway, so there’s this really great Snow Patrol song Make This Go On Forever, and I became curious about who/what the situation was that he was writing about. Googling around, I found all these attempts at heart-wrenching stories from dudes who claim “ohh.. I can SO relate”. If you actually read the lyrics, though, you’ve gotta be a real asshole to go around acting like you’re the one who’s suffering.

I think we all fashion ourselves to be hopeless romantics, and artists with dirty souls, just wandering around looking for “the one who REALLY ‘gets’ me, ya know?”. This is an amusing delusion. And I come armed with an example! A translation of Make This Go On Forever..

Please don’t let this turn into something it’s not

You’re freakin’ out over nothin’ here, toots. Are you on your period?

I can only give you everything I’ve got

You’re asking for too much from me, here. What, like, you’re perfect?

I can’t be as sorry as you think I should

I can’t be as sorry as you think I should

But I still love you more than anyone else could

You better hang onto me, cause… you know that weird thing you do w/your toes when we’re fucking? Yeah, other dudes would dump your ass in a heartbeat. Just keep that in mind here.

All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right

I mean, really, how many times do I have to apologize? I’m, like, real sorry. See?

This splintered mast I’m holding on won’t save me long
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong

I’m an artist. Look at me! Arty and shit! Did I mention I was sorry?

The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could

Woe is me. I’ll never love again. You’re, like, the ONLY one for me!

First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything

Remember when we first kissed? That shit was hot. Can we drop all this and… y’know, get back to THAT?

The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned

You’re so wise, baby. Teach me your ways. So I can ignore them next time I fuck up.

The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

What did you mean by “Is THIS how you treat someone you supposedly LOVE?” – cause all I heard was “love”, and I’m still kinda confused why you walked away after that.

We have got through so much worse than this before
What’s so different this time that you can’t ignore

Remember last month, when one of those girls I was having a threesome with (while you were out of town) squirted onto that teddy bear you’ve had since you were a kid? Ohboy, were you pissed. But… hey! We got past that, right? So, this shouldn’t be that different. That’s our dynamic. I fuck up – you forgive me cause I wrote you songs about it, then we fuck.

You say it is much more than just my last mistake
And we should spend some time apart for both our sakes

You’re just sayin’ that cause you wanna fuck other dudes, right? Is that what this is about?

And I don’t know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness

I’ll just be over here… crying to myself. Being REAL sorry. Not like last time. I really mean it this time. I’m, like, in the darkness and shit. Can’t you feel my pain?!? I’m a tortured soul!

Diggin' my shit? Well then..