Mitcz.com : Official blog of Rev. Mitcz, the demented devilish comedian from Hollywood, CA.

I was reading through OKCupid’s fascinating number-crunching blog “OKTrends” and stumbled upon an entry about success rates for wording in messages. If you have 5 minutes to spare, give it a read.

Nonetheless, here’s a quick breakdown of Do’s and Don’ts.

Do Not…

Use netspeak/slang. (words like “ur”, “u”, “luv”) or bad spelling (“wut”, “realy”, “cant”)
Use physical compliments (“you’re sexy”, “beautiful”, “hey cutie”, etc)
Mention using outside services to get to know them (email, AIM, yahoo, cellphone, etc)
Mention god. Unsurprisingly (to me, at least), Jesus and God decrease reply rates even amongst other religious terms.

Do…

Be humble, especially for men. Surprisingly “sorry”, “awkward” and “apologize” all had high success rates.
Mention something in …

This post is mostly here so I can link my friends to a central source for something interesting I found (in my travels ’round the interwebz) to “cure” the so-called common cold. While I, personally, have done this, and can verify that it worked for me – I feel like I should drop a number of disclaimers and notes first.

I am not a doctor
I am not getting paid by anyone to tell you this shit
I am not some anti-corporate conspiracy theorist shithead who’s going to tell you this information “is what THEY don’t want you to know, man!”
I could give two shits if you take any of this seriously or not. Again, …

It happened slowly. I can’t put my finger on the exact moment. But, I know it’s happened. I’m absolutely addicted to Twitter and I finally “get it”. This screenshot pretty much says it all…

If you don’t yet “get it” – allow me to elucidate.

My Enablers

First and foremost, if the only time you read or update Twitter is by going to twitter.com, you’ll probably never “get it”. It might sound silly, but it’s way too much work to sit there and refresh your feed manually. And, for posting, to have to head over to bit.ly, TwitPic, TwitVid, yFrog, etc to manually shorten a URL or upload a pic/video is a giant pain in the …

Bored, late-night browsing gets me into some weird mindsets and brings up weird memories and research topics. Tonight, through a series of articles, I was reminded of a close childhood friend, and someone I regarded as my personal hero. The person I always aspired to be, but I was never confident enough. Or attractive enough. Or “built” enough. Or… any number of things. He was, I told myself, what I’d be if I weren’t so consistently a fuck-up, and pretty much the polar opposite of all the things I saw in him.

This was the man (well, boy, really.. he was actually 26 days younger than me) who introduced me to D&D and roleplaying.. Introduced me to martial arts. To Frank …

I’m often in gradual transitions of lifestyle and behavior towards some strange ideal person I’ve cooked up in my head that I hope to one day become.

Moreover, I also pick out behaviors I despise in others and tell myself to avoid inching ever closer to having them myself. The unfortunate side effect of this is that, in moderation, most “bad” behavior is actually good. And normal. Even worth celebrating. When I go too far out of my way to avoid what I find “bad behavior” in others, I risk losing an essential piece of what’s made me…. ya know, ME.

Helluva way to start a blog, but there’s a point a-comin’, I promise. Let’s talk about creeps and creepy behavior.

“I still got it. I can still do this.” That’s what I told myself as I walked off-stage last night. It was an incredible feeling. I didn’t feel so hot about the gig prior to that, which I chalked up to all the shit I had on my mind, weighing me down. I hoped that was what held me back.

It’s a funny thing, my fickle ego. After a great set, I feel refreshed and on top of it all. After a bad set, I feel like I don’t belong on stage. Like maybe I’m just funny enough for people to not completely hate my act, but…. certainly not funny enough to justify carrying on. I never wanted to be one …

Today, I came across a short advice column in a “family-friendly online news source” where the term “blowjob” was replaced with “making a grilled cheese sandwich”. From the article :

I am a 30 Year old male. I have been dating a wonderful woman for 2.5 years. I would describe everything about her as perfect except for one thing. She absolutely refuses to [make me a grilled cheese sandwich.] Now I want to ask her to marry me, but the thought of going the rest of my life without receiving [grilled cheese sandwiches] is definitely a worry.

Now, thankfully, the advice columnist probes as to why the potential wife wouldn’t want to do it, and whether or not he’s …

Oh life. You have some funny ways about you. After what was probably the most difficult, painful, educational, trying year of my life.. it all makes sense now. I was a fool to deviate from my path. I thought I could. I wanted to see what it was like over there, on the other side of the fence. But, hell, I could only fake it for so long before it all started coming apart and I scrambled to keep the pieces together. They just don’t fit, though, do they? No amount of hammer, nails, even crazy glue could fix that.

Three years ago, I found a badass little spot in Hollywood. Cheap rent. Right off the Hollywood strip. Stumbling (quite literally, …

As these things go, my life is about to change pretty drastically. I’m Single. Moving out to live on my own (for the first time in my life). Doing full-time freelance design work. Getting my comedy life worked out to perform as often as I can manage. Reconnecting with the Mitcz I’ve ignored for too long, for reasons I still smack myself for justifying.

I “tweet” a pretty fair amount these days. It’s nice to have a place to just post a random sentence, so if you’re into that sorta thing you can find me @twitter.com/revmitcz.

There’s a funny thing about trying to get out one’s woes, annoyances, stresses and aggressions on a stage when doing comedy. While I used to …

I’m not about to say mothers have it easy, so don’t jump on that nut-hugger just yet. But it’s interesting to me that there’s at least two causes mothers have rallied together to fight, and formed organizations that fathers wouldn’t really be able to.

Mothers Against Drunk Driving or MADD. They can use catchy slogans like “It’s time to get MADD!”. Hell yeah. Get mad about drunk driving. That’s catchy, and poignant.

But if fathers got in on the action? It would be FADD. And, sure, it rings true. Mostly it’s dumb young douchebags who can’t hold their liquor properly that run about the town drinking and driving — thereby being a fad — but you can’t actually say that!.

Mothers Against Guns …