Mitcz.com : Official blog of Rev. Mitcz, the demented devilish comedian from Hollywood, CA.

I was hit with a hair-brained theory about why so many dudes (myself included) will continually be absentee lovers, dismissive, perhaps even outright unfaithful and then pretend we “didn’t mean it” or make up some lame excuse and try to proclaim “but… baby! I LOVE YOU!”. I don’t purport to be above that level – I’ve never been the model of good decision making and undying love as a boyfriend. Instead of “fixing” that, I just stay single. This way, I’m only hurting strangers, right?

Anyway, so there’s this really great Snow Patrol song Make This Go On Forever, and I became curious about who/what the situation was that he was writing about. Googling around, I found all these attempts …

My standard response (to anyone outside of my close friend circle) when I get the oft-asked question about plans for various projects has always been “I don’t discuss upcoming projects until I feel confident that I’m finishing it soon”.

However, as I actually have quite a shitload of things on my plate this year, I thought it might be a good idea to make them public so people can hold me to it. A brief rant about stand-up comedy follows.

What I’m Doing This Year (hopefully)

Finish Grab Your Crotch and Roar
Record my debut comedy album (more info below)
Launch setl.it
Change the Mitcz : The Expert format a little bit and do …

So, Google turned off the China faucet. They just weren’t digging the overwhelming censorship over there. I appreciate that they think not bending to government-sponsored censorship is more important than making a buck, but it’s a complex issue – for instance, researchers in China loved Google and are worried about how easily they’ll be able to access all the things Google’s search brought them to.

Anyway, the point of this post is to look over China’s response to Google. The wording is.. a little murky. So, I’m providing a translaton.

BEIJING, March 21 (Xinhua) — From groundlessly accusing the Chinese government of supporting hacker attacks against it

Google figured out we were trying to keep them from skirting our intense censorship …

A series of random thoughts I’ve had recently.

It would be great if…

…the leaders of the Republican party would just drop the shit and say “Okay, okay.. that whole ‘God and Jesus’ thing is just a ploy to retain an emotional stranglehold on the masses so they don’t notice when we financially rape them”

…the U.S. legal system would consider a rape victim’s sexual history, proclivities, social activities and social circle “inadmissable as evidence” and instead focus on the only thing that matters : did the girl get raped? (sidenote : although only 2-8% of rape cases turn out to be lies, only 5.7% of rape cases actually result in a conviction. so, why does everyone focus on the extremely fringe possibility …

I was reading through OKCupid’s fascinating number-crunching blog “OKTrends” and stumbled upon an entry about success rates for wording in messages. If you have 5 minutes to spare, give it a read.

Nonetheless, here’s a quick breakdown of Do’s and Don’ts.

Do Not…

Use netspeak/slang. (words like “ur”, “u”, “luv”) or bad spelling (“wut”, “realy”, “cant”)
Use physical compliments (“you’re sexy”, “beautiful”, “hey cutie”, etc)
Mention using outside services to get to know them (email, AIM, yahoo, cellphone, etc)
Mention god. Unsurprisingly (to me, at least), Jesus and God decrease reply rates even amongst other religious terms.

Do…

Be humble, especially for men. Surprisingly “sorry”, “awkward” and “apologize” all had high success rates.
Mention something in …

This post is mostly here so I can link my friends to a central source for something interesting I found (in my travels ’round the interwebz) to “cure” the so-called common cold. While I, personally, have done this, and can verify that it worked for me – I feel like I should drop a number of disclaimers and notes first.

I am not a doctor
I am not getting paid by anyone to tell you this shit
I am not some anti-corporate conspiracy theorist shithead who’s going to tell you this information “is what THEY don’t want you to know, man!”
I could give two shits if you take any of this seriously or not. Again, …

It happened slowly. I can’t put my finger on the exact moment. But, I know it’s happened. I’m absolutely addicted to Twitter and I finally “get it”. This screenshot pretty much says it all…

If you don’t yet “get it” – allow me to elucidate.

My Enablers

First and foremost, if the only time you read or update Twitter is by going to twitter.com, you’ll probably never “get it”. It might sound silly, but it’s way too much work to sit there and refresh your feed manually. And, for posting, to have to head over to bit.ly, TwitPic, TwitVid, yFrog, etc to manually shorten a URL or upload a pic/video is a giant pain in the …

Bored, late-night browsing gets me into some weird mindsets and brings up weird memories and research topics. Tonight, through a series of articles, I was reminded of a close childhood friend, and someone I regarded as my personal hero. The person I always aspired to be, but I was never confident enough. Or attractive enough. Or “built” enough. Or… any number of things. He was, I told myself, what I’d be if I weren’t so consistently a fuck-up, and pretty much the polar opposite of all the things I saw in him.

This was the man (well, boy, really.. he was actually 26 days younger than me) who introduced me to D&D and roleplaying.. Introduced me to martial arts. To Frank …

I’m often in gradual transitions of lifestyle and behavior towards some strange ideal person I’ve cooked up in my head that I hope to one day become.

Moreover, I also pick out behaviors I despise in others and tell myself to avoid inching ever closer to having them myself. The unfortunate side effect of this is that, in moderation, most “bad” behavior is actually good. And normal. Even worth celebrating. When I go too far out of my way to avoid what I find “bad behavior” in others, I risk losing an essential piece of what’s made me…. ya know, ME.

Helluva way to start a blog, but there’s a point a-comin’, I promise. Let’s talk about creeps and creepy behavior.

“I still got it. I can still do this.” That’s what I told myself as I walked off-stage last night. It was an incredible feeling. I didn’t feel so hot about the gig prior to that, which I chalked up to all the shit I had on my mind, weighing me down. I hoped that was what held me back.

It’s a funny thing, my fickle ego. After a great set, I feel refreshed and on top of it all. After a bad set, I feel like I don’t belong on stage. Like maybe I’m just funny enough for people to not completely hate my act, but…. certainly not funny enough to justify carrying on. I never wanted to be one …