New RevMitcz.com and MORE

I have to work quick these days when it comes to my personal projects. I’ve been wanting a new RevMitcz.com for awhile, and all I’ve had time to do was make a new intro. However, an idea struck me yesterday and today I’m unveiling it. I think I set a new personal record for conception to mockup to fully-coded and launched ..all within 24 hours. When you see all the shit I’ve added to the site, I think you’ll be impressed.

Some quick things worth mentioning :

• Converted all the pages over to a wordpress-powered site. This makes my life about 100x easier, as I don’t have to manually code every single update anymore
• Each gig (upcoming and past), each video, and each “project” now has its own page. This means easier direct-linking for all.
• I’m now including all my tv/film adventures on the site. This will expand as I figure out how I want to present each thing, but for now there’s enough to keep you busy.
• Subscribing to my RSS feed will pull in “future updates”. Things like gigs and projects are post-dated to coincide with the date of the event. You can also subscribe to individual categories (like “Upcoming Gigs”) if you just want to be notified of that. I’ve been trying to find a working solution for posting to iCal-compatible calendars, but as of yet, they all suck.

And now, for some news..

If you look at the front page, you’ll see 4 projects. Some or all of them you may not have known about before. But, I took the cat out of the bag. Yes, that reality show I mentioned vaguely being a part of was, in fact, Bad Girls Club. I don’t want no guff. Sometimes, we do silly things. I’m certainly no exception.

So now… go check out RevMitcz.com v4.0!

Prop 8

There’s a lot of hoopla going about regarding Prop 8. And, with good reason. Marriage is a right all adults should be entitled to. I say that without qualification or exemptions. Normally, I might say “all sound-minded adults”, but I refuse to believe there’s ever been a situation in which someone got so drunk that they suddenly decided getting hitched was a good idea. Sure, some people have used that excuse, but that’s what annulment is for, and “not being of sound mind” (i.e. too drunk to fuck) is a legal excuse in every court of American law that I’ve studied. So, it’s a moot point.

It boils down to this..

Your freedom of religion ends where mine begins.

If your religion doesn’t like what my religion (or lack thereof) enjoys, that is hardly my problem. The exception to this rule is pretty simple : unless what I believe hinders another person’s lifestyle in an intentionally harmful way, your right to prevent me from doing so is null and void (and vice-versa). This covers 99.9% of all arguments, and prevents some hackneyed moron from piping up to say “Oh! Well, what if your religion considers murder a basic right?”. Cause if that’s your counter-argument, then you are too brainless to carry on a conversation about such things in the first place.

Dispatches of “Truth” pt 1

(this is the first part of a series of posts I plan to do about the interesting nuggets of wisdom I receive in my Truth Box)

A few months ago, I installed the “Truth Box” app on my MySpace page, just to see what happened. For the most part, I get a horde of misspelled proclamations of lust and sexual desires. While flattering - I have a girlfriend (Misi) whom I love very much, so I’m afraid your desire to “suk” my “cokk” will go unrequited. About 1 out of 30 “truths” is a horribly misspelled and grammatically incorrect proclamation that I’m “a fag”, “a homo”, or most recently “a skinhead”.

Today, I’d like to focus on perhaps the most idiotic hate-filled message I’ve ever seen posted to my Truth Box.

Hey skinhead wannabe faggot
black power mutha fucker
racist im going to kill ur family homo
just cause i hate fags like urself

At first glance, I’m mostly just amused that it’s written in a 4-line stanza. Like an ignorant, hate-filled, grammatically incoherent, misspelled poem written just for me. *sniffles* I’m so touched. As a piece of modern poetry, it’s only fair that I review the work line-by-line.

Hey skinhead wannabe faggot

Skinhead wannabe? As in… I want to be a skinhead, but I’m not? If you mean “skinhead” in the sense that (in my most recent profile photo) I have no hair - sure, I guess I’m a skinhead. Did I want to have no hair for that picture? Yes. But, I achieved that wholly improbable milestone, cause I’m amazing. And I have a pair of clippers. Now, if you mean “skinhead” in the sense that I’m a Neo-Nazi, then you’re very much wrong. Moreover, Neo-Nazis share your hatred of homosexuals, so wouldn’t I, too, also hate “faggots” and therefore couldn’t actually be one? Your logic is dizzying.

black power mutha fucker

Ohh… now I’m black power? As a white guy? This term “black power” - I do not think it means what you think it means. And, yes, I’ve fucked a few mothers in my time. Little tip for the undersexed males out there : find yourself a chick w/a kid. She’ll rock your world. She’s too busy with raising kids to fuck around with power games or teasing foreplay. They’ll just whip it out and grind away on you with the voracity of, say, a hungry leopard in the winter. It’s quite nice.

racist im going to kill ur family homo

This part is especially confusing. With no punctuation, hyphens, or proper spelling, I’m at an impasse. Am I a “racist ‘im going to kill your family’ homo”? That would imply that I was not only partial to members of my own gender, but that I spout rhetoric at near-constant intervals that exhibit veiled threats on people’s families. To my knowledge, I’ve never made a public statement about killing anyone’s family. So, it’s certainly not a phrase I would say regularly enough to have it tacked-on to my personality as though it were a nickname (example “Hi, I’m Sarah worthless-shitbag-cunt Palin!”).

But perhaps this anonymous tipster is making threats to me and MY family. If that’s the case, I can see why they did so anonymously, as that’s a pretty serious legal infraction. On a logistical note, I hope you’ve saved up your frequent flyer miles as you travel to Colorado (for my step-family, since you missed taking out my mother almost 2 months ago), Northern California, Southern California, Texas, Louisiana, New York and Mississippi. If you managed to make it out to Texas or Mississippi to take out my family, I weep for you. Though you’d likely die of boredom in either place, the family I have in those two places would snap your neck like a twig. And they’re all gun nuts. One of them has no fewer than 2 shotguns in every closet in the home. So, hey! Good luck, buddy!

I’d also like to take issue with being called a racist, a skinhead, and a “black power mutha fucker”. If I were racist against blacks, I couldn’t be “black power”. If I were racist against whites, I’d not only have already offed my own family, but I wouldn’t very well be able to hold a neo-nazi skinhead position. Oh, and if you’re going to drop “er” in favor of “a” in “mutha”, you should follow through with “fucka”. Mixing and matching your slang is just sloppy and shows a lack of effort on your part. Something I feel I deserve, because clearly I’m a shapeshifting god, playing all sides, in your eyes.

just cause i hate fags like urself

And now we bring it all back again. I’m a “fag”. I’m not sure how one assumes the role of “urself”, but maybe your Y and O keys decided to act up while you were typing that. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us when we’re jerking off to images of prepubescent boys wearing American Flags as cock-socks while being anally violated by their fathers and uncles. And by “the best of us”, I really just mean moronic fuckheads like yourself. *phew* good thing my Y and O keys were still working there. Oh, that’s right.. cause I don’t jerk off to little boys. My bad.

In closing, I’d like to thank you for composing a love-poem to me. You must be enamored with my awesomeness. It’s okay. It happens. Just.. ya know, try not to tell your billy boys that you compose anonymous love letters to another man. They might go fag-bashing on you. And that’s just not nice.

Until next time… speak the truth, people!

UPDATE :
A friend of mine suggested that perhaps this person was spouting “black power, motha fucka”, instead of claiming I was black power. I had assumed they were calling me black power, because of a recent performance where I lambasted scared white people, and expressed my disdain for neo-nazis and the KKK. If I’m being called racist against black people - I suggest a second look at the performance I just linked. I think that’ll clear up the confusion.

Come Together. (right now)

History was made last night. It was a moment that, for better or worse, no one in this country (perhaps the world) will ever forget. It’s one of those very few “where were you….?” moments. Anyone trying to downplay the importance of what happened last night simply doesn’t “get it”.

I cried during Obama’s acceptance speech. Several times. I’ve never felt more patriotic. Never felt more in tune with this country I call home. This, coming from someone who ripped on the American Way practically nonstop for the past 8 years. I’m feeling patriotic. I’m feeling at one with my fellow Americans.

I don’t want to hear about “red states” and “blue states”. It’s all bullshit. It’s all a way to divide us. As we stand now, at last count, 80% of the country doesn’t approve of George Bush. Eighty motherfuckingass percent. 240 of our 300 million strong. Regardless of which candidate you supported - chances are that you were voting for change, whether it be McCain-flavored or Obama-seasoned. You didn’t want the likes of Dubya. You said “ENOUGH!” to the last 8 years. That’s something we can come together for. That’s something worth celebrating. As is the fact that over SIXTY-FOUR PERCENT of registered voters in the U.S. came out to vote. Second only to the record turnout of 65% in 1908.

I’m not rubbing it in the faces of McCain supporters, and I hope the same can be said of you. Out of 3 phonecalls I made or received within minutes of hearing the news last night, which includes 2 Republicans and 1 Democrat, only one of them voted McCain. That 1 was my father, a staunch Republican and part of the 20% who still approve of Bush, who said “I think Obama will be good for America. I think he’ll bring us together”. He voted McCain, regardless, but he believes Obama might bring an end to the divide we’ve had in this country.

That’s what I’m hoping for, too. An end to the divide. We’re all suffering from economic collapse. We’re all being taxed for an unnecessary war in Iraq. We’re all being taken to the cleaners for a lack of a unified (or even properly legislated) healthcare system. We, as a people, need to stop looking through the lens of 24-hour-news and their fear-mongering. We need to look forward, and come together.

Is that too much to ask?

Obama, the KKK, white guilt and white fear

I saw the following photo today, and could barely believe the idiocy (click for larger version) :

That is to say - not only did someone actually think Barack Obama’s middlename has ANY bearing on his ability to lead, but they made a bumper sticker. Ahh but wait! Someone else thought “hey! that’s a good point” and stuck it on their car.

For my take on Obama, I direct you to this highlighted bit from a recent performance I did. This is my final word on the matter, and I thought it was important to note, so it was uploaded as its own piece, separate from the full performance :

New Mitcz.com

Figured I’d take the day off from working for other people to work for myself and do a little redesign of (my blog) Mitcz.com. I’m liking it so far, but it needs a little fine-tuning, which I’ll have to get to at a later time, I think.

Still, it’s definitely an improvement over what I had before.

Goodbye, 20s.

29 was a rough fuckin’ year. But, it’s started to ramp up a bit better these last few weeks, amidst other fucked-up shit that’s happened. I can only hope 30 treats me better than 29 has, though it wouldn’t have to set the bar very high, I s’pose.

1 week from today, we find out who we’ve gotta put up with for the next 4 years. I haven’t seen a projection yet that’s given McCain so much as a fighting chance, but I’m about to breathe a sigh of relief just yet. How cool would it be to have Obama in there? Man, that’d be so fuckin’ badass. To actually like the president for a change? Oh sweet merciful hell yes. That’d put my 30s off to a very good start.

Now, for some semi-short rants that I’ve been meaning to get off my chest…

Read the rest of this entry »

New RevMitcz.com Frontpage

I decided it was time to throw together a little more recent demoreel of my comedy, and thought I may as well start working on a redesign for RevMitcz.com. I doubt i’ll get to actually redesigning the whole site for awhile, but it was fun to make a neat little Flash intro using some of the advanced skills I’ve learned in recent years.

If you’ve got 2.5 minutes to spare and want a quick look at some of my recent comedy material, go take a look at RevMitcz.com. Just sit back and watch. No need to click anything :)

VIDEO : Rev. Mitcz @ Shooters (30 MINS!)

So, I set a new personal record for longest comedy performance on Thursday night at Shooters. 30 fuckin’ minutes. I’d only written about 5 mins of new material, and TK said “you can do like 15 minutes. If you’re killing, I’ll let you keep going”. At around 21 minutes, I’d run out of the material that was immediately on the top of my head, and TK yelled from off-stage “you’re good, man. keep goin’!”. So, I launched into a newer bit that probably was a little rustier than it should’ve been. In hindsight, maybe I should’ve used the piercings/tattoos material. Ah well.

I’d like to record a comedy EP sometime in December, and while I was worried I wouldn’t be able to fill the time, I know now that I could. Of course, I’ll need to polish up a lot if I’m gonna be selling off copies of the set.

At any rate, here’s the video (available at Vimeo) :

Rev. Mitcz @ Shooters (Oct 16th) from Mitcz Marzoni on Vimeo.

Hi, I’m a jackass. Er.. geek. Designer geek.

So, I had a spare hour or two tonight and decided it was time to refresh the look of my system a bit. I made a quick new desktop, then I went crazy on making some icon replacements.

Here’s a quick shot of those..

So, now when I’m switching applications under normal usage, I have two icons with ME on them. And in my dock, there’s 3 (since I put an alias to my website files in the dock too).

I don’t know why I’m putting my geektasticness on blast, but it felt like the right thing to do at the time.

cause, really, if there’s anything geekier than making custom icons that resemble the originals, but incorporate your own image, it’s blogging about it when you’re done