This peculiar place

I just took a little tour in and around this site. I checked out some of the communities, some members of communities, shit like that. It seems whatever your fancy, your fetish, you obsession, your mental disorder.. there’s a support-like group for it on here at LJ.

I felt a bit fight club-ish a few minutes ago, checking through the various compendiums of suffering and overall not-well beings of some people. I prefer reading the depressing, down-trodden posts, only b/c they’re always very insightful, when someone’s having a good day they just smile and move along. When it’s a bad day, you sit down and collect your thoughts, you channel in every little nuance of your day, your week, your month - you purposely notice patterns in the chaos of daily life - all fingers point to one conclusion.. there’s a world-wide conspiracy to make YOU have a shitty day. But, you’re not alone, though even if 100 people have had the same day as you, you’re alone as far as you’re concerned, hell.. you prefer it that way. You want to be alone, it’s something else in the conspiracy. Everything is. If you accidentally pee on the toilet seat later that day, it gets added to the list. When someone says "how was your day?" and you begin your "god it sucked.." rant, you’re going to inevitably throw in "and.. on top of all of that - I FUCKIN’ PISSED ON THE TOILET SEAT!!! GOD, THIS WAS NOT MY DAY"

I checked out a site My Miserable Life: A Compendium of Suffering a few months back, and it brought me great relief, great joy. Others’ pain can be my healing. I see where people have gone wrong in life, from marrying the high school slut to letting a few co-workers backstab you… it’s all there. All these lives, shattered, broken down.. these people appear to be without hope. But, even in their little glimpse, their little spotlight on the site - one can see where they prolly went wrong in their life. It’s so easy to judge from the armchair, so easy for me to point a finger at some wahoo and say "look at that fuckin’ loser". I try not to judge, but that’s our nature. We judge, contemplate, annoy, point fingers, build our egos up like cathedrals (thank you Al Pacino), sit back and mock those we call inferior to our divine selves. Serial Killers do that same shit.. and like a mirror, we’re just as quick to point a finger back at them and say they’re wrong. Some have the backing of a deity to help them point fingers at others. They can anonymously throw out a judgement, then quickly retort with "oh, but I love you, mine is not to judge.. God will judge you".

Isn’t it interesting, I think, to know how it’s all evolved. The internet, bitched about, contemplated, rivaled over, fought for and against, ripped apart, corporatizedª, fucked, sucked, licked.. choked all to shit, commercialized.. it’s a glorious thing. Here, now, in this little rant in the space of microelectrons that might never see the glory of processed tree shavings, or feel the touch of human hands - you’re reading the thoughts of a stranger. Not a celebrity, not a newscaster, no one of any real importance in your life. Why do you bother?

You’ll say it’s because you’re bored.. or, maybe this is interesting. Truth is, you want inspiration. Maybe artistic inspiration, maybe inspiration enough to make you get off the couch every day, maybe inspiration to go kill someone. We all need inspiration, perhaps I too will find some inspiration.. in this corner of the web - a non-existent fantasy land wherein I can be anonymous, contemplative, boring… but strangely inspirational, if only to myself.

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