Musings on a Tuesday Night..

You are a victim of your own intolerance. Your problems are usually over-indulgent ramblings in your masochistic and imaginative mind. A sick and revolutionary thought I know.. one can change themselves? not worry about bullshit problems? My god! You lie!

That’s right, you too could one day be sitting on a couch, worry free, birds chirping outside and, get this, feel perfectly content. This is not the answer to all of your problems. But, most of them. This isn’t blindly making comfort lies to put yourself to sleep at night, ignoring the facts. Things still suck. Governments are still corrupt. Girlfriends and boyfriends will still fuck you over for that strapping young stud (or hot mama) down the street. Your taxes, your rent, your utilities, they’re all still there.

What is this magical, mystical substance you speak of? And, please Mitcz, where can I get some?

Look inside, fuckhead. Not inside your computer… inside your head, your soul if you’re one of those. You control your own destiny, believe it or not. The world shits on everyone. Life gets everyone down. We’ve all been stepped on, we’ve all been hurt, lied to, dumped, abandoned, shit on, fucked over, taxed, beaten.. I as well as you have had all this happen.

Joe Bob Heywhatchatouchin’ over here is a mild-mannered, fairly content man. He’s been through a lot, he’s had his shit ripped up pretty fiercely. Yet, you can still catch a smile from him with little more than a "hello" on the street.

John Bob Heywhatchatouchin’, Joe’s brother, has been through fairly similar circumstances, he’s had it pretty rough one might say. Yet, he’s not often content, he hides within the confines of stronger people whom he surrounds himself with, you might catch a smile from him, but you can almost feel his inner contempt upon doing so.

What’s the difference between these two? Joe has decided long ago to send home the cavalcade rejects from his self-induced pity party, he’s hung up the long face mask, he’s put away the self-contempt for rainier days. John… well, he’s done none such a thing. His fear lies in the thought that his personality is in his misery, those who know him only know him as the miserable one. Therefore, he’s got invested emotional stock into his Misery Company.

Just get over it. Stop beating yourself up with your stupid "woe is me" bullshit. No one likes that. If you’ve been broken up with by your last 5 girlfriends and you "just don’t know what went wrong" and now you live in this elaborate world of self-loathing over it… well, pal, the problem isn’t them. It’s you. You’ve basically bitched them away. Keep bitching and whining and self-loathing, and being a sappy little bitch who cries over less than spilled milk.. and you’ll lose everyone. That’s right, no attendees to your pity party, no company for your misery. And, then you’ll truly be miserable. Depression breeds depression breeds depression. The only way to stop it is to just.. fuckin’ stop. Think of it this way: no matter where you are or what you have, at least you’re alive — so there’s still hope, there’s still a chance that you could pull out and make something of your life. And, if you’re reading this.. you’ve got more to be thankful for: electricity, a place to call home, access to a computer… some people should only be so lucky. Think about those fuckin’ somalians and ethiopians next time you’re mortally wounded b/c some big-breasted moronic bitch told you to go fuck yourself. It could always be worse.. and at least you got to see tits while you were at it. Maybe more ;)

Case in point: my best friend Champagne. One tough bitch. She’s been through more shit in the last 2 years than most of you whiny little bitches could even dream up in your shitty fictional short stories that you scrawl up at the local Starbucks on Poetry night. She’s lost her father, the one person who was there for her always, without slack. He cared for and loved her, never turned his back on her. He was a great man. He died and now she’s left in a world without his love, his beauty, his care, his hand of help. But you know what? She can still crack jokes about how he was a total tool, and his tongue-in-cheek comments about her sexuality on the back of his Real Estate Business card. Why? Cause she doesn’t want to lay down and die. She’s not content in a self-loathing world. She’s strong, and she’s going places. These are the people I keep in my company, they remind me that we’re all still very much alive, and that’s a beautiful thing if you know how to use it.

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