Ahh.. the intricacies of women, dating, sex and marriage

Posted by Rev. Mitcz

June 8, 2001

I got a bit of an inspirational journal thought a little while ago. I was gonna sit down and write out some random babbling shit relating to women, dating, sex and marriage. I was going to (yet again) defend myself on my opinions on women. I’ll state this now so there is never a confusion again. I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST WOMEN. I THINK WOMEN CAN BE SOME OF THE GREATEST, MOST LOVING, WONDERFUL PEOPLE ON THE EARTH. MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THIS WORLD (MY MOTHER) IS A WOMAN. SO I HOLD WOMEN IN THE HIGHEST REGARD.

Okay, that having been said.. I also have problems with some of the ways women act. I know I’m not alone on this one. I like my male bonding times. I like to sit around and bitch about women. But, women sit around bitching about men. Hell.. women can say in a firm, clear voice "All men are stupid, ugly, smelly pigs!" on national TV and the laugh track will kick in on queue. But, let a guy make a passing comment like "women piss me off" (as I have done on more than one occassion) and suddenly I’m the reason why feminists exist. I’m the big shovenistic male asshole. Fuck you.

Hey, newsbreak for you: I’ve got probs. with black comedians who spend their entire act saying "here’s a white man driving a car — now here’s a BROTHA driving a car", but I’ve no problem with black people. None. I treat all people the same. If some white guy spent his entire act talking about life as a white male in America, I’d be just as annoyed with him. Hell, I think Bill Cosby is a fuckin’ genius in comedy. Black/White/Purple - I don’t give a fuck. Cosby stands on his own in any world, any color, and can make me laugh harder than 98% of the population. I’m an equalist. EQUAL. Somehow "equal rights for women" has become "women.. feel free to tear apart any and all men on this earth, simply because they have a penis". No, I don’t fuckin’ think so. How about this "Women.. please do whatever you wish in life. Let no more a male-dominated society keep you back from doing whatever you want in life. Please, accomplish your dreams. Don’t just be a housewife. Don’t put up with anyone’s shit.. you’ve already done that and it’s time for a revolution. But two wrongs do not a right make."

I’m very pro-women. Even moreso than most women actually. I get more pissed off at the Pam Anderson’s of this world than I care to mention. Stupid, big-breasted, sit around and do nothing but at least look good doing it bitches can fuckin’ suck my dick.

Madonna… she’s god. There’s a woman who takes no shit from no one. She’s got her entire life set out on her standards, her path. She doesn’t care if you’re a man, woman, child, chinese, japanese, black, handicapped.. christian, catholic, jewish.. fuck it. If you’re cool to her, and she wants you in a video - you’re there. If you piss her off.. she will destroy you on national TV. THAT is a fuckin’ woman. THAT is an upstanding, integral, passionate, charismatic person. We should be so lucky to live in a world that she’s in. And all of you anti-madonna assholes out there… I’ve got a dick for you to suck on too.

Another woman that I think is just fuckin’ great is Vilette. Sure, I’ve got plenty of women friends that I could mention here. I could even make mention of the fuckin’ gorgeous, intelligent, amusing Jessica I met about a week ago. But unfortunately I can’t link you to anything she’s written. So, I’m taking this time out to showcase a few women you may not know. This is just to show you what I mean by women who kick ass. One such woman is Vilette. I’ve never had the pleasure to so much as talk with her online, but I found this amusing article on her site. She’s a great writer, so feel free to wander around the site. But.. read this little gem she wrote a while back first. If it doesn’t at the very least amuse you.. then you’re probably a nazi - or a feminazi. Either way — here’s a gun, shoot yourself.

Now.. I will show you an interesting convo I had with a good friend of mine named Jennifer. This was about 2 months ago I think. We’d just met. She’s an amazing writer, and her journal is always full of wisdom, wonder, and amusement. Go check it out if you’d like. She originally posted this in her journal, and it was because of her that I decided to make my own journal. Jennifer - if you’re reading this.. you’ve been an inspiration and a muse. I aspire to be as good a writer as you. Yes, people, this woman kicks my ass in the writing dept.

Anyway.. this convo was about women, dating, sex, and marriage and I want to inspire conversations with this post. I love thought. I love opinions. So, when you’re done reading this.. fuckin’ spill those guts in the little "comment on this" field. I wanna hear it all.. so go nuts kids

SavvyScribe: Anyway, enough about men and their ridiculousness.
RevMitcz69: women can be just as ridiculous, if not moreso
SavvyScribe: I disagree.
RevMitcz69: oh..?
SavvyScribe: OK, I agree
SavvyScribe: Women are worse, I think
RevMitcz69: do tell..
SavvyScribe: Well, I am just as guilty as my peers.
SavvyScribe: Here is my theory:
SavvyScribe: Men either say what they feel and mean or they don’t say anything at all. That’s pretty right, right? They either run or they are too blunt. I prefer the latter.
SavvyScribe: They are fairly simple creatures, I think. Women on the other hand are a nightmare…
SavvyScribe: Our emotions dictate how we handle every situation. We have to analyze everything a man does in order to determine how to react. We usually make the wrong assumption, acting in the opposite way that we should, scaring the man off (this is where it becomes problematic with the man who "runs.")
SavvyScribe: We just complicate things that don’t need to be complicated.
RevMitcz69: I agree to a certain extent about most of what you said
RevMitcz69: though, it’s hard to say men are nearly that cut and dry. It seems that the nature of man is not to stay with any woman for very long, relationship-type shit is usually difficult for men to deal with - my theory is that when caveman were done knockin’ up their cave chicks, they ran off to go hunt. The cavechicks hung out w/each other and had lesbian orgies, which is why there’s so many more bisexual women than men..
SavvyScribe: Ya know, there might be something to that…
SavvyScribe: I believe that bisexuality has become a survival tactic for women more than a preference.
RevMitcz69: haha, perhaps
RevMitcz69: I wish I could be bisexual, honestly..
RevMitcz69: but, I just can’t get into the idea of sucking dick, and men are generally too hairy for me - I mean, I shave, but I hardly expect other men to
SavvyScribe: I think all men should shave. That’s another one of my opinions…
SavvyScribe: I think in order for a lot of women to feel completely fulfilled, they need both the love of a man and a woman
RevMitcz69: dude, I think for women to feel fulfilled, they need the love of 6 men and 12 women, all giving them full attention and ready to fulfill every last want and need at the drop of a hat, no questions asked..
RevMitcz69: but..
RevMitcz69: women also love to be ignored, b/c it puts the chaos back in the game, so those 6 men and 12 women need to alternate who’s paying attention, and always when she needs one more than the other ;-)
SavvyScribe: Ahh yes… the "need for drama factor."
SavvyScribe: We women feel much more when we can be melodramatic, drinking out of tequila bottle, wearing shades and listening to Cranberries music.
SavvyScribe: I think we thrive on being that Norma Desmond-type.
RevMitcz69: yup.
RevMitcz69: women are a complicated sort
RevMitcz69: mostly b/c they never say what they want. Women change their mind on what they want every 30 secs.
RevMitcz69: ..which is why I never wear underwear
RevMitcz69: I know, odd reference, but check this..
RevMitcz69: if I’m wearing underwear, and me and some chick are about to get it on, we’re grabbing, prodding, licking, groping, etc etc..
RevMitcz69: clothes start to come off, usually the chick’s shirt is the first thing, then her bra, then the guy’s shirt..
RevMitcz69: now, when they go to pull of my pants, which is usually right before she pulls off hers, if I’m wearing underwear, she might change her mind. Once chicks think "okay, after the boxers come off… there’s no turning back" and they think, if only for a second, about that..
RevMitcz69: and, if they’re all for it, it’s good to go
RevMitcz69: but..
RevMitcz69: I’ve had women actually stop the whole thing and up and leave, right as the boxers were about to come off..
SavvyScribe: So you’re basically taking the decision away from them?
RevMitcz69: however, if there’s no boxers, they’re surprised, and with that surprise comes a loss of thought. So, they just jump right in. Of course, the added surprise is the 6 gauge ring on the end of my dick, which definitely helps too
RevMitcz69: no
RevMitcz69: I’m not taking anything away
RevMitcz69: I’m just helping them to not have to sit and contemplate the world’s issues when it’s clearly time for sexin’
SavvyScribe: You are SUCH a man
RevMitcz69: kinda, yeah
RevMitcz69: it makes sense though..
RevMitcz69: I don’t know why women do that, but they do, they change their mind every 30 secs.
RevMitcz69: you have to hit their sex centers at exactly the right point in time to get anything done. It’s like a wave. If you miss the chance, you need to wait another 30 secs, hoping she’ll come back around into the sex wave again - if she does, you give it another shot, otherwise you’re fucked. Or, more appropriately you’re not fucked ;-)
RevMitcz69: so, with the lack of boxers and the piercing, I’ve easily amused them and confused them for about 30 secs, and the wave stays, if it stays for that long, I’m good to go
SavvyScribe: Then you’re home free
RevMitcz69: you know it
RevMitcz69: but, see it gets even more complicated..
SavvyScribe: You definitely have an interesting perspective
RevMitcz69: b/c that’s just sex…
SavvyScribe: Oh, do tell
RevMitcz69: thank you
RevMitcz69: okay, check it like this..
RevMitcz69: I’ve heard more women tell me in great detail exactly what they "wanted" in life, out of men
RevMitcz69: and, goddamnit, I’ve tried to be the perfect man in every way possible
RevMitcz69: I’ve pierced myself, I’ve shaved every hair off my body, I got tattooed, I’m a bad boy when they need it, and a sweet sensitive guy when they’re down and need some love from someone..
SavvyScribe: Yes, but women are never happy with what they have. They always want more/better/different/worse.
RevMitcz69: I’ve studied the Kama Sutra, Tantra, I know the ins and outs of the woman’s vagina so well I could draw up maps like those star map guys in Hollywood
SavvyScribe: Oh my hell…
RevMitcz69: I mean, I’ve done everything under the sun, I’m the artistic, sensual, passionate, rough, sweet, nice, take-no-shit, hardcore, easy-going, funny-as-hell, intelligent, silly, mellow, eccentric sexually involved (Scorpio here) guy; but my god, I can’t find a woman that gives a shit about that to save my nut about 90% of the time - when I do, she leaves w/in three months of us being together - every time, for the last 22 years of my life
RevMitcz69: and, oh.. I love kids to death man, I totally dig kids, and I want kids of my own very badly - it doesn’t scare me at all
SavvyScribe: ok, hear me out…
SavvyScribe: I wish I could figure it out. The fact is, women are just complicated creatures. For some inexplicable reason, we a) want what we can’t have, b) don’t want what we have, c) if we have what we want and happen to keep wanting it, it’s only out of hope of changing it or d) if we give up what we thought we want we find a way to blame the other person for it.
RevMitcz69: that’s the most honest statement I think I’ve ever heard any woman make
SavvyScribe: Thank you
RevMitcz69: and, it pisses me off all to hell, b/c I can’t be with men, they do nothing for me - so, out of no fault of my own, I’m forced to put up with women’s bullshit, all b/c I have an affinity for breasts, smooth skin, clean people, nice curves and things that can bare children
SavvyScribe: I think that women get tired of the quest (and yes, I believe women are on more of a quest than men) and finally settle down with a guy who is a) awesome in bed, b) great with kids, c) treats her like a princess d) treats her so bad that she feels validated for some dysfunctional reason, or a, b & c combined, if they are lucky.
RevMitcz69: haha…
SavvyScribe: It’s true!
RevMitcz69: well, see, I’m not into marriage, so maybe that’s my big fault
RevMitcz69: I think marriage is unnatural, the very concept of marriage, if I explained the origins to you, is so fucked that I can’t even believe people get married
SavvyScribe: Pal, I think you just found your fatal flaw… ding ding ding…
SavvyScribe: Women are like wolves… they can sense the AntiMarriageGuy from miles and miles
RevMitcz69: maybe, but no one’s ever talked w/me about marriage
SavvyScribe: It doesn’t matter
RevMitcz69: tru dat
RevMitcz69: but, still… I think that shouldn’t matter much
SavvyScribe: We know… oh we know… they have secret societies for that shit.
SavvyScribe: It shouldn’t, no. But it does.
RevMitcz69: esp. when the chicks are usually more against marriage than I am
SavvyScribe: Or so they say. I find that’s a defense mechanism
SavvyScribe: It’s like
SavvyScribe: "I am glad I am not really thin. Those girls look too unhealthy."
SavvyScribe: Men have a choice.
SavvyScribe: They either answer, a) You’re right. Glad you aren’t like that or b) Oh honey, you are too that thin.
SavvyScribe: Depending on a woman’s mood either could be complimentary or insulting.
RevMitcz69: yeah
RevMitcz69: women are cryptic like that
SavvyScribe: Same goes with the marriage thing. If they say, "I am anti-marriage" and you don’t say "But why, I want to get married" you could be screwed.
RevMitcz69: basically, the whole point I’m trying to make is that women bitch and moan all the time about how they can never find what they want, and how men never know what women want, etc. - but the truth is that THEY don’t know what they want. And, once they’re pretty sure they know and they get it, they don’t want it anymore. This applies to everything in their life, from dating to shopping - why else would women want that $300 pair of shoes and only wear them once?
SavvyScribe: So how do we change that?
RevMitcz69: I’m not sure
RevMitcz69: I guess just be more honest with yourself..
RevMitcz69: that’s all I’ve ever done, I used to lie to myself all the time, like most people do, then I sat down and went "wait! why lie to oneself? you’ve only got yourself to impress" so I started to open up to myself, and just not lie anymore internally
SavvyScribe: I don’t know when I am lying or being honest with myself.
SavvyScribe: I know the things I SHOULD want but they rarely line up with what I do want. So I go back and forth between the two.
SavvyScribe: Often.
RevMitcz69: that makes sense
RevMitcz69: I think it just comes down to.. what really makes you happy?
SavvyScribe: The guy I was talking to recently? I should want him. I talked myself into it. I didn’t. He’s not what I want.
RevMitcz69: once you figure out what you honestly, totally want, what makes you utterly happy, then you’re all good
SavvyScribe: Until you try to go find it… then it’s more uphill, correct?
RevMitcz69: yeah, about like that
RevMitcz69: I mean, I’m in a similar boat..
RevMitcz69: I sat down and said "what do I want in a woman?" and I thought about it and thought about it, and came up with something. Then, I met that person I wanted
RevMitcz69: and, I was really reluctant to admit to myself that it was a good thing to have found that
SavvyScribe: So what happened?
RevMitcz69: however, I finally did, and I opened up and accepted not just the idea, but her, the woman. However, now there’s all this 3rd party dramatic bullshit going on in our lives that she’s going to be leaving me now..
RevMitcz69: I’ll just go back to meaningless sex and vent my emotions in music, I prefer it that way anyhow - it’s how I’ve always lived, so it’s like going back home to live with my parents ;-)
RevMitcz69: I’m doomed, I realize that now
SavvyScribe: Doomed? Why doomed? That’s gotta be an exaggeration.
SavvyScribe: That’s not a good thing, buddy
RevMitcz69: doomed to never really have a long-term relationship, I’ve never been able to do it yet, so I’m just gonna stop trying
SavvyScribe: I don’t know if I would do that
RevMitcz69: maybe that way, something might happen years down the road, but if not.. I don’t care that much
SavvyScribe: You have to keep trying… you always have to try… right?
RevMitcz69: no
RevMitcz69: I think it’s better to "do or do not, there is no try"
SavvyScribe: You have another point
RevMitcz69: so, I’m just not going to try, I’m going to lay back and let the waves take me where they will
RevMitcz69: as Bruce Dickinson wrote "I throw myself into the sea, release the waves, let them wash over me, to face the fear I’ve once believed"
RevMitcz69: this way, there’s no disappointment..
RevMitcz69: yet, there’s more hope in not trying
SavvyScribe: Maybe that’s what I’ve been doing wrong… I try too hard, I suppose.
SavvyScribe: Yeah, I think it is.
SavvyScribe: I ruin things because I try too hard, I think
RevMitcz69: I understand that method of thinking, 100%
RevMitcz69: it’s b/c you’re afraid to let go, you want to hold onto the person all day long, b/c you fear that if they leave for 20 mins, they’ll never come back - you’re not secure about the situation, so you obsess, all the time — I’ve done that same thing, not more than a week ago
RevMitcz69: any of this making sense, or am I just rambling?
SavvyScribe: No, I am amazed how right on that is
SavvyScribe: I have serious abandonment issues, which make that worse
SavvyScribe: I obsess to the point that I scare the other person
RevMitcz69: I’m the same way
SavvyScribe: I rarely meet men like that
SavvyScribe: It’s mostly us wacky women
RevMitcz69: I have a LOT of abandonment issues, in fact, I’ve only recently (like 2 years ago) found out that abandonment issues were the root of my probs.
SavvyScribe: Me too. Two years ago, even.
SavvyScribe: I haven’t been able to change them or fix them, though
SavvyScribe: It’s awful. It creeps into my friendships, too
RevMitcz69: well, having your one true friend (dad) leave you, your mom go insane and try to kill herself and you nurse her back to mental health and then she forgets about you while she hangs out with your sister and her friends 24/7 once she’s all mentally "fixed", have your best friends abandon you and join in on bullies beating the shit out of you all at the ripe age of 10… that’ll do it to ya
SavvyScribe: Oh my god
SavvyScribe: I don’t know what to say
SavvyScribe: This is one of those moments where I don’t say anything because I fear saying the wrong thing, so I apologize
RevMitcz69: don’t worry..
RevMitcz69: I’m all better now ;-)
SavvyScribe: Still, that’s a horrible thing to go through.
SavvyScribe: See, I state the obvious..
SavvyScribe: I guess… I was just wondering how you get past something like that, but was trying to find a good way to ask.
RevMitcz69: nah… don’t worry, like I said, I’m all better now. What doesn’t kill ya, makes ya stronger, so I feel better having gone through that
RevMitcz69: well, at the time, I made it through by dreaming. I’d say above all else I dreamed of rockstardom, I told myself not to lash out at my enemies, as one day I’ll be famous and these fuckers’ children would be singing my words, thinking my thoughts, rebelling against them, hating them, and it will tear them apart inside
SavvyScribe: Sweet revenge.
RevMitcz69: yeah
RevMitcz69: and, the deal gets sweeter yet
SavvyScribe: how so?
RevMitcz69: b/c I’ll be famous, rich, a legend - they’ll be dreaming of $20 whores while sitting on their la-z-boys eating ice cream and having back pains and stress from their shitty 9-5 jobs where no one gives them any respect and their wives will be lusting after me ;-)
SavvyScribe: That’s harsh
SavvyScribe: But a lovely thought :-)