Quickie

Just have a quick post for tonight. Soon, though, I will have BIG news. Actually, several articles of big news. The biggest news, however, probably won’t be announced for another month or so. Ahh…. moving right along now…

I saw this article the other night about McDonald’s. check it here: McDonald’s Goes Upmarket

Quoting from the article:

" The company plans to introduce a "premium hamburger" made with more wholesome meat. It says staff will be better trained, would smile and apologise. Stainless steel and plastic will be counter-balanced by "aroma and warmth", executives say. The company plans to launch a worldwide advertising campaigns to try to transform its image. The BBC’s North America business correspondent, Stephen Evans, says the question is whether the McDonald’s name is too associated with low prices and cheap quality to be changed. "

What’s this about "more" wholesome meat? and apologizing? Let me translate the above passage through the Mitcz-Un-Bullshit-ifier™

"We here at McDonald’s realize that while making burger patties from 3 parts cardboard to 1 part meat byproducts has worked for almost 60 years now, we’re getting the distinct impression that you, the public, aren’t so keen on that idea any longer. To counteract our utter incompetence at making a decent burger, that has made us as synonymous with "American Horseshit" as anyone in the Bush family, we’re going to change. No, really, we are. In fact - we’re even apologizing. Our cashiers will apologize for 60 years of obesity, bad taste, grease, environmental waste, and overall sub-par health standards. This time around, we’re working to actually make something that doesn’t guarantee heart attacks. Or, at the very least, we’ll apologize and continue to lie to you - but now fortified with a brighter, more shit-eating grin, not to mention our new motto of ‘aroma and warmth’. Please don’t bomb anymore of our restaurants."

Yeah, so that was a low blow to McDonald’s. Who’s cup I’m drinking out of right now. But, they are pretty "assy". I really only like their fries - I think they hide crack in there. I just get the Big Mac cause it passes my mouth’s minimum quality standards. Barely.

Oh…. and I won’t rescind that Bush family comment, I don’t care how "groovy" the U.S. is supposed to seem right now. You don’t like it? Go have rough S&M sex with a goat.

p.s. - Anyone hear about the following line of questioning that was posted in a news story recently? (and, no, I’m not joking - this is verbatim)

Reporter to Iraqi Citizen: "What do you think the U.S. brings with it, in their hope of liberating Iraq?"
Iraqi Citizen: "Democracy. Whiskey. Sexy."

I need a shirt that says "Democracy. Whiskey. Sexy." Bill Maher had one the other night… I’m jealous.

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