The thingies

This one is intriguing to me. The last two LJ friends of mine that did this had a damn good list and I seriously doubt mine’s going to live up to that glory, but here we go anyway..

[Twelve Things Thing.]
Twelve Things I’ve Done That You Likely Have Not Done:
 

1. At 17, performed with a local industrial band in Phoenix regularly (for about a year) wearing little more than a codpiece all the while beating myself up with any object within my grasp on-stage and searing my skin with candle wax.

2. Did 15 solid minutes of stand-up comedy at a hardcore fetish club for a crowd that was less than thrilled about seeing a comic at said establishment.

3. Ingested LSD over 120 times. About 100+ of which was in the period of about 6 months.

4.  Sent a roommate off to sell Special K that we’d acquired through a cleverly planned ketamine theft ring, only to find out that my roommmate/friend was an idiot when selling drugs and not only did he come back without a penny’s profit but my girlfriend at the time who he’d taken with him was sent off to jail for engaging in these antics with him.

5. Talked a guy who’s teeth I knocked out in a fight a few minutes prior, OUT of hitting me upside the head with the lead pipe he was holding.

6. Converted a bum from a bible-thumping, preaching Xian into an atheist in a 2 hour conversation.

7. Got 666 tattooed into my head from a freshly-released inmate via his homemade prison-style "tattoo machine".

8. Robbed yuppies’ homes in Phoenix for their handguns to sell on the street for candy and cigarette money, at 14.

9. Inadvertantly modeled for a gay porn website. They didn’t tell me it was gay at the time but.. whatever, I was young and needed the money.

10. Got my cock pierced.

11. Urinated on 2 different women, asexually. That is to say - I didn’t do it to get them (or me) off and we weren’t having sex at the time (one of them I never have, and never would so much as kiss, in fact).

12. Put a lit cigarette out on an ex-girlfriends pubic area to prove two points : 1. I’m sadistic without remorse or compassion. 2. When you say "I love pain" to me, I will only warn you 3 times that I don’t fuck around with pain before giving you pain you’ll never forget.

I guess that kinda makes me sound more hardcore than I meant it to be. So, just for kicks, here’s a few "good" things that will take the edge off and show you I have a soft side :

13. I helped build a church for a few days in the middle of the summer, in the middle of the California desert heat, without any pay whatsoever.

14. I’ve written the last 9 years (and 600 pages) of my life into a private diary Word document that I plan to publish when I’m "famous".

15. I’ve never taken a single course on web design and actually had to teach web design to my "intermediate computer design" class in high school.

Okay, well… I tried.

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