Guys Don’t Give Diamonds To Girls Without Hymens

I’ve heard it time and time again - men don’t want to marry women who’ve been around the block. Every man wants some virgin Catholic girl they can turn into their little housewife and keep them dirty in the bedroom but clean and proper in public. Women who’ve been around the block a bit, are of older age, and/or have been married before, it is said, will have a harder time finding a man to marry them. Furthermore, there’s a lot of talk going around, left over I think from the goddamned 1940’s, about what’s “not slutty” on the first date and a woman who gives it up too easily obviously has severe emotional and/or self-esteem issues and is most certainly not dating nor marriage material.

Bullshit.

Allow me to explain, won’t you?

This whole argument reeks of idealistic dreams of the 40’s and 50’s where women were supposedly prim and proper and no one had sex until marriage. Even then, that was idealistic. It happened, but it wasn’t talked about as much. Can you blame them?

Beyond that - assuming it were true - it also might explain the explosion of divorces that followed. You’re in love with a girl in college, she’s in love with you. You love kissing her and occasionally getting a titty-grab out of her.. but you long for more. You long for her. She longs for you. But.. no diamond, no hymen, right? So, they get hitched. I’m not saying they do it just so they can fuck - but it could be a possibility. After all, if everyone’s a virgin, you may as well just marry the hot one you get along with and everything will work out fine. Years later, however, you’re staring down at this woman who never learned to fuck properly. Neither did you. You were both virgins. Exploring outside of each other would be infidelity, but you’ve just gotta know what someone else is like. So, you bang the hot secretary who’s unmarried and likes to fuck around. She’s amazing. Your marriage crumbles and you end up w/neither the hot secretary, nor the perfect virgin wife who now owns half your shit. Oh, but you’ve got a bright red Porsche. Good on ya, mate.

I’m getting ahead of myself. The point is - marriages crumble daily. People everyday are going about their adulterous ways. Not much is changing in that regard. Yet, we still hang onto these long-dead ideals about women being “perfect little angels” that have sat around waiting for your glorious cock all their life. Not fucking likely, my friend.

People like to pass over sex in relationships. Some will admit that it’s important, but few place as much importance on sex as they do on many other aspects in their marriage - that of committal, for instance. Why, though? I think sex is UNDERrated. Yes, underrated. Sex has become some nonchalant plaything that we talk about and giggle about and treat it more like a fun bowel movement than the essential life-enhancing experience it is and should be. Personally, I say that sex is just as important, if not moreso, than most other aspects of a healthy relationship.

The general consensus I’ve gathered from people about the important aspects of a relationship (whether it be “serious dating” or full-on marriage) is that the following things are pinnacle :

• Trust
• Respect
• Friendship
• Attraction (or “desire”)
• A “healthy” sex life

I didn’t include “love” in that list because love is a construct. It’s what we say is there when we’ve got all those things above for longer than a few months. Call me a bitter fuckhead - but that’s about the size of it.

Now let me break down the list into what they “really mean”.

Trust

Another way to say this would be “knowing that the bitch/asshole isn’t gonna run off and fuck the first thing with a penis/vagina as soon as you get into a little argument over dish soap”. Sure, there’s more to trusting someone than just base jealousy issues, as well there should be. After all, I trust my friends and I could really give a fuck who they’re sleeping with on any given night. So, there’s more to trust than just sexual fidelity. Trust is more about knowing the other person isn’t feeding you lies every time they open their mouth. Can you trust this person with a secret? Can you trust that you can give them $10 to go to the store and buy some milk and bring you back the proper change? Can you trust that they’ll take care of your mother in the hospital if for some reason you simply cannot make it? These things are all trust issues. They’ve nothing to do with sex. However, when drilled about “trust”, very few people will bring up any further example than that of not fucking another person while in an exclusive relationship.

Respect

This usually goes hand in hand with trust. As in “Don’t you respect me and my feelings enough to not go around fucking every 2-dollar whore in Hollywood?”. Whenever people are lied to, or cheated on, they almost always say something about the other person “not respecting my feelings”. I agree that respect is generally tied to trust - as in when you respect someone, they can trust you. I don’t, however, consider respect to be something related to exclusivity - sexually or otherwise. Again, I respect my friends and …. you know where I’m going with it. True respect goes beyond just trust and pretty much encompasses taking into account someone else’s feelings when making decisions that affect them. Hence phrases like “respect my decision to…” and “have enough respect for me to trust that I’m doing the right thing”. When you, as a couple, make a decision and one part of that couple reverses the decision without regards to the others’ feelings - that person does not respect you. End of story.

Friendship

Pretty basic, not much to read into here. Do you two get along? If you’re not sitting around making out or fucking like animals at the zoo - can you catch a flick, dinner, and/or a walk on the street and still have fun? If so - you’ve got friendship. If you can’t stand to be around someone beyond the confines of sexual intimacy or picking out curtains for your new home - you don’t have a friendship. You have some sick fascination with co-dependency and not wanting to feel alone. That’s not a friendship. I’ve known a lot of couples in my life, still do, that aren’t friends. They’re simply “going out” and when they’re not sucking face, they don’t really talk about anything interesting and they don’t really hang out. If you’re not sure you’ve got a friendship in your relationship w/someone, tell them you’re not really feeling the whole “sex thing” for a few days and see if they still smile when you’re out doing non-sexual things. Double points if they suggest other non-sexual activities that would be “fun” and you agree. If that doesn’t work.. well, you’ve got a fuck-buddy, at best.

Attraction

When you wake up in the morning and you look over at your beau - do you think “goddamn… they’re beautiful” or do you only get that fuzzy feeling in your stomach on the rare occasions that you two dress up to go out someplace nice? If it’s the latter - you don’t have that attraction. Walking with your significant other to the store and with every step wanting to nail them to the wall and fuck them unconscious - that’s attraction. Making them dress up for you, or put on lingerie or feeling aroused only when they’ve done something “romantic” for you… that’s just attraction to an idea, not a person. Attraction does wane over time, I’ll grant you that, but you should at least see them as a beautiful, arousing person (not necessarily the most beautiful, arousing person) every time you look at them. Or.. damn-near every time. Most times.

A “Healthy” Sex life

Everyone defines this differently. Some people think as long as two people enjoy the sex they’re having, regardless of how often they have it, then they’ve got a healthy sex life. Other people seem fit to define “healthy” as the shear amount of times in a given day/week/month they have sex. Personally, I define it a bit more loosely. I say a healthy sex life is one where both partners feel sexually fulfilled all the time. Regardless of how often they fuck, they should (ideally) never feel left out, unwanted, or under-sexed.

Bringing It All Together

Before I get to this crock of shit about marriage and idealistic dreams of virgin Catholic girls, I want to make it clear how important sex is to a relationship. Specifically, how important really good sex is to a healthy relationship.

If every time you fuck your “other” (let’s just call the other half a couple an “other” for the time being), you’re feeling better than you’ve ever felt before - you’re with someone amazing. You’re having great sex. Now, it might not be the most mind-blowing thing in your life every single time (after all, we all have our off-days), but you should feel fulfilled. You should, as a woman, have as close to an orgasm as the amount of time you fucked for will provide, if not actually having an orgasm. As a man, your mind won’t have time to wander off to think of other women when you’re inside of her (or him, not trying to exclude gay couples here) because you’re so completely enamored with how amazing she is, and how she feels. You should basically be in awe that you’re feeling so good over something you’d previously considered “pretty good”.

It’s pretty easy to spot someone who’s never had their fucking world rocked in the bedroom, because they’ll pass off sex as pretty unimportant in their relationship. As something “kinda fun” they do… when time allows. If you’re getting fucked like you’ve never been fucked before, consistently, you fucking know it and you fucking love it and you can’t fucking get enough of it. That is how you know you’re having amazing sex. And that distinction MUST be made. Amazing sex versus “pretty good” sex is like comparing french fries to Filet Mignon. It might be enough to get you by for the time being, but it doesn’t quite fill you up and you’ll always be longing for more.

Having amazing sex is, as I’ve said before, easily one of the most important things in an exclusive relationship. If not the most important thing, for that matter.

You see, looking through that list above of the “most important things” in a relationship (yes I’ll agree it’s very generalized and vague), one might notice that the first 3 items are no different than what one might consider the most important things in a friendship as well. Where’s deviation between a friendship and, say, an exclusive relationship? Attraction and.. SEX. One might consider the two to almost be one in the same. After all, I’ve known people who are with someone they don’t find necessarily to be the hottest person ever in facial structure, but they lust after and feel wholly attracted to because they have an amazing sex life. Conversely, I knew a woman who was with a male model, a man she considered to be quite easily the most gorgeous man she’d ever met - but… dude couldn’t fuck his way out of a wet paper bag. Guess what? They didn’t get past the 3rd date. So, attraction is by no means limited to purely physical aesthetics here. Only by one’s own internal feelings about someone else. Most of these internal feelings of attraction come from the consistent memories of amazing sex with that person. Who amongst you can say that you haven’t been in the scenario of seeing an ex-lover that totally fucked you over but you still found yourself at least half-longing for them, even though their face might make you cringe in disgust and anger… however, that memory of how well they fucked you remained, and kept you intrigued even still?

I maintain that sex is the distinguishing factor between a friend and a lover. After all, when someone introduces a “friend” of theirs, and the thought crosses your mind of whether or not they’ve ever dated - the distinguishing factor is, again, sex. “Did you fuck that guy?” - “No, he and I are just friends”. Get my point?

So, if sex is to be the distinguishing factor keeping you at bay with one person for any length of time versus going out and finding someone else, but keeping that person around for their friendship/companionship/whatever - then shouldn’t this distinguishing factor be a very strong one? Moreover, shouldn’t this one factor alone make you just fucking madly insanely overcome with desire for that person? Personally, I say yes.

That brings me to my next point. If you’re having great sex with someone. Nay, amazing sex - best sex you’ve ever had, and they’re constantly telling you that and you can just FEEL how great everything is, a lot of those other “important things” fall into place naturally. If I know, for instance, that I’m givin’ the lovin’ to a woman who couldn’t be more appreciative of said lovin’ and she tells me constantly, then my issues of “trust” (in regards to exclusivity) are effectively null. I don’t need to worry if she’s looking around at other men, cause I know she knows she’s got a good thing going and she’s in no mood to ruin that. Furthermore, if I’m with someone who provides me with the greatest sex I’ve ever had (and supposing they’re feeling the same way), the level of respect we have for each other is through the fuckin’ roof. As for friendship? If you’re clicking so well w/someone intimately (and I’m not talking just sex here), then the friendship becomes a solid bond that you can’t break for shit and it’s always going to be an amazing time. Attraction to that person, in a relationship w/amazing sex.. well, I’ve already covered how that works.

Before I move on to the larger view of this - let me make my point crystal fucking clear here.

If you’re going to consider having a serious, long-term relationship with someone, it should be someone you could see yourself being with for a very long time. To that end, that person should, by all means, be the greatest goddamn fuck you’ve ever had - else you’re wasting your time and cheating yourself out of a wonderful life that you might otherwise have with someone else

Now, back on to my original point, a bit more.

Sex On The First Date

Is sex on the first date a yes or a no? For me - it’s a solid yes. I hold no judgment over women who fuck on the first date. I neither think them trampy, slutty, easy, low on self-esteem, insane, or unsuitable for a relationship. In fact, every woman I’ve ever fallen in love with (of which there have been very, very, very few) - I fucked within the first 2 “dates” (using the term very loosely here cause I don’t really “do” dates most times). I don’t regret that decision, either. I don’t regret it because I firmly believe sex to be such an important, integral part of a relationship that if who I’m with isn’t fucking me better than I’ve ever been fucked before - then why am I bothering with them? I’ve done a lot of fucking in my time. I’m not embarrassed to admit I actually have to keep a running list of first names in a spreadsheet on my computer of how many women I’ve slept with, and a separate list for women I’ve just done oral sex with. The sex list is hovering around 30. Oral is hovering around the 50’s. I’ve been around, and I don’t give a fuck. Do I get “weird” around women who have surpassed me in numbers? Not once. I’m actually impressed, and if anything I feel inexperienced.

Irrespective - my point is that it’s rare that I find someone who fucks me better than the ~30 women before them. When I do, I’m in fucking awe. Sometimes, that leads to being in fucking love. Not love based on sex, mind you, but because I consider myself a sexual person, I see intimacy in all things around me and in all people around me. Great sex translates to great conversation, great laughter, great fun, and great feelings. And, those things translate back into great sex. Sex can be an all day thing without even touching. Ever spent an entire day with someone, making lewd sexual jokes and turning everything said into a come-on that at the end of the day results in some multi-hour fuck-a-thon? That’s what I mean. Sex is more than just the physical in-out motion, my friends.

I was having a conversation w/some friends of mine at work. One friend confessed to me that after hanging out w/this new chick he met on about 4-5 occasions, they’ve still not slept together. I told him “look, dude… 3 dates max. If you don’t get it by the 3rd date, move along”. He and my other co-worker busted into quite the heated conversation, sounding to me like they thought me rather crass for this point of view. Maybe even just thought I was being a piggish male for comedic value (which, admittedly, I’ll often do). I repeated my point several times over the course of this never-ending conversation we have about it. And, I’m quite serious. By the 3rd date, you should have had sex w/whoever it is you’re seeing - weird social situations notwithstanding. I’m not militant about it, because sometimes there’s just no time or there’s a very good reason for it. But, ideally.. 3 dates is my limit.

My thinking is this - I can’t speak for the women, but for us men; we see women become a separate animal in bed than what we see in public and in casual “hanging out”. I’ve met women who couldn’t be more timid, shy, and reserved in social situations but I’ve gotten in bed with them and all bets are off - they become wild beasts and they want it rough, they want it loud, they want it any fucking way they can get it. And, I’ll even step back (in my head) and think “is this even the same woman?”. I want to see that side of them almost immediately. Also, after sex, some women become different around you. Everyone’s got a different mode of operation for handling the post-sex hangout. Some women, for instance, think that once you’ve had sex, it’s suddenly okay to start holding hands and kissing in public. Others won’t even kiss you while walking around naked in your apartment after a good shagging, because little tender kisses post-sex make them feel like they’re in a relationship and they don’t want that. This is another important factor to consider, before grouping someone into the “friend”, “fuck buddy”, “booty call”, “non-exclusive lover” or “exclusive lover” categories.

Sex can make or break a relationship, as well. Ever said or done the wrong thing while fucking someone for the first time (or one of the first times) and they just.. couldn’t hang anymore? I’m not about to start slapping the shit out of someone “just to see if they’re into it” because I need to know what ground I stand on. So, I’ll start slow… maybe a little pat on the ass. If they say “harder” - well… harder it is. Same with biting. Sucking. Hickies. Whipping. Beatings. Floggings. Whatever have you. Everyone likes their sex differently, and I aim to accommodate, personally. But, again, it’s important to get these things out of the way as soon as you can because if you’re a “top” and they’re a “top” - you’re either going to have to get submissive, take charge, or leave. If someone withholds sex and/or sexual activity for.. let’s say a month.. and then you find out you’re completely incompatible - it’s a lot harder to go for the casual “maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore” conversation than it would be on the first or second date. In fact, on the first or second date, you don’t even need to say anything most times - cause it’s pretty obvious when people are incompatible.

This brings us closer to the bigger point.

Female friends of mine have told me that the #1 reason they withhold sex with someone is because they don’t want to be considered a slut, and then tossed away by some complete asshole who could give a fuck about them - and, really, why should they waste their time with some fuckhead like that, and give him a piece of their fine asses?

I couldn’t agree more, believe it or not.

However difficult it might be to weed out complete fucking idiots from genuinely interesting, attractive men that one would strongly consider having sex with - I understand that distinction must be made. Apparently, that’s more difficult for women to make than it is for men. That is to say, either women more readily believe in the greater good of people and like to naturally assume people are nice and good until proven otherwise — or men are just much better at hiding being psychotic/idiotic/jackasses than women are. I don’t say this to disrespect women by any means, but that’s just the way it seems from here because for myself and friends of mine, we can pick up on a fuckin’ nutcase chick pretty goddamn quick, whilst our female counterparts are more forgiving and might let it slide that the guy they slept with last night woke up eating their dog’s food out of his dish.

Where does all this bullshit about not sleeping with someone on the first date come from?

(feminists, you’re gonna love this)

MEN

Not just any men, however. But, men that uphold this unbelievable fantasy in their head that one day they’re going to find the perfect untouched virgin girl that’s waited a lifetime for their unbelievable cock, and then run off to marry and spawn and be the perfect little housewife with no job, or opinions, or thought process. Let the man do the thinking, the talking, the decision-making, and the woman can make sure he’s thinking on a full stomach with a happy home full of children.

I don’t fucking think so.

I love a woman with an opinion. I love a woman with a job. Rubbing your fuckhole against a shiny silver pole for old men with a wad of $20s isn’t the kind of job I had in mind - but it’ll work until you get something better. I mean a real job, though. Something corporate is always appreciated. Yes, a job and opinions and thoughts and anger issues and raw sexual energy, tapped several times a week (or even nightly) with some over-sized vibrator. Fine by me. I LOVE IT. If you know how you like your kitty rubbed - all the better, let me in on the secret, or let me guess. But, at least you fucking know, and that’s the best thing you can do for both me and (much more importantly) yourself.

There’s a cliche remark I’ve heard a million and one times in my life

“Men can fuck 1000 women a year and just be a bigger stud with each one. Women try to pull off even 1/100th that many in their lifetime and they’re considered dirty little sluts”.

Sadly, it’s true in some cases. Not to me, of course, because I put no bearing on the amount of partners a woman’s had. But to men that try to uphold that bullshit 1940’s dream. Ya know what? Fuck ‘em! No.. better yet, let them go fuck themselves. That’s the only hole they’re likely to find that’s fucked just one dick in it’s lifetime.

Men - next time you fuck a chick on the first date, clear your mind of that “jesus, she must be low on self-esteem” bullshit and realize that, in all reality, they gave you that ass because they thought you were special and you fucking deserved it. Ride that ass with pride, because she thinks you’re worth it. Maybe she thought some dude the night before was worth it, too. So fucking what? You’ve got it now, so fuckin’ own it, and work it.

The thing is - most men have severe inadequacy issues in bed as it is. And, the less experienced the women they come across happen to be, the lesser the chances that they’ll not be performing up to task. Realize this, though, if your sexual abilities rely on competition with these figures from the past, you’re not even performing for the girl anymore, you’re trying to perform for her past lovers. That’s some twisted shit. Give it your all. Read a book. Take the fuckin’ small bullet and admit that you want some guidance - women will give it to you. The ones that won’t are more inexperienced than you are and if you drop your guard and your judgment of their sexuality, they’ll open up to you and eventually let you know exactly what feels good. They don’t even have to articulate, if they find that embarrassing. Here’s a trick, when you’re going down on her, grab her hand and put it on your head. Make her grab a fistful of hair. Tell her to squeeze harder the better it feels, and/or use that fistful of hair to guide your head into places that she likes having licked better.

Even though I’m by no means “just starting out” sexually, I’ve readily admitted to many women that I wanted their guidance. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of actually giving a shit. Women, I don’t care who they are, love it when they know a man cares about them.. sexually or otherwise. They love to feel important - and who wouldn’t? Let her know she’s important, and her sexual satisfaction is important to you. I guarantee it’ll pay off. I’m not professing to be the greatest fuck anyone’s ever had - and I doubt I’ve ever been that to anyone, but I’ll never stop learning and I’ve no issues with asking for guidance, or letting them give me pointers. Women are tricky and no two women get off the same way. Some like a pinky in their ass when you’re going down on them - others prefer having two fingers rubbing their G-spot while you lick their clit. Everyone’s different. Hell, some women don’t know what they like until someone like you comes along and does it to them.

The Housewife Fantasy

I’m gonna wrap it up now.

There’s been a lot of talk about men not wanting women who’ve “been around the block”. They don’t want a woman with a high-paying career job. They definitely don’t want a woman with a higher-paying job than what they’ve got. They don’t want a woman who’s *gasp* genuinely intelligent. If she’s already been married before? Ohhhh jesus god no! Not that! And, sadly, women the world-over are not only falling for this, but they’re actually concerned. I feel sorry for them, I really do. I wish the media would spin a different tale. I see what feminism is, in its true sense, and I think we need more of it in our media. I don’t want all-out male bashing, not by any means. That’s not getting us anywhere. Stop painting men out to be drooling idiots with a hard-on, a remote and a beer, waiting for the next big bucket of chicken. We’re not all like that, okay? Get rid of that biased generalization. Sure, we’re sexual beings - but aren’t women, too? Of course they are. I’m not saying men are beyond ridicule by any means, cause that’s hardly true, I just think your anger is misdirected.

However, we do need a shift in the way we think about women. Get it out of your head that women are mindless servants, here to please your highness and clean up your filth. Those days are gone, those women long-replaced by thinking, acting, talking, opinionated bitches with sex drives and sex toys. Men, you need to stop being such fragile ego-maniacs and think that just because your woman’s had more cocks in her than a farmhouse she’s somehow “used property” and not worthy of your love - and that you’re not gonna compete with all the men of her past. This isn’t about competition, it’s about her. It’s about you. The two of you. Just because she’s got something to say, she’s not just a “mouthy broad”.

It’s time to move into this new millennium with a new train of thought. Women can be just as independent, hard-working, intelligent, talkative, worthwhile, and sexually liberated as men - if not moreso. Deal with that, love that, and love all that comes with it.

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