Reality Mitcz

I have to be careful about what I say here, because I’ve got non-disclosure contracts coming out of my ass. However..

I was on a reality show the other night. Unlike the 3.5 seconds I spent on that weird MTV “True Life” show, where I was one of about 100 people at a random party, this particular show focused on someone whom I was on a “date” with for the evening.

To say it was surreal and pure fucking insanity would be an understatement. I tried like hell to retain my personality, my dignity, and .. well, my sanity. One or more of those may have slipped. Suffice it to say, I spent about 8 hours with the cast of an extremely popular reality show, and they probably have 2 full hours of footage of just me and the aforementioned “date”. Mostly yelling. I tried to calm the situation down most of the night, but then I snapped and ….

…well, again, I can’t really say. I’ll only say that I blew up a little bit and yelled a pretty fucked-up insult at someone. But I can just about guarantee you’ll be seeing some “highlight reel” of the evening on Talk Soup come December.

I don’t think the “date” will end up calling me again at a later time, but my friends are convinced the producers might try and coerce her to do so because I was the highlight of the evening. While the rest of the cast were off doing their own thing, I was immersed in drama and screaming for about 4 hours straight.

I guess I’ve lost a piece of my soul in doing that, but in my defense - I had no idea I’d be more than a 5-second blip in the background. Maybe someone will see me on there and say “Now THAT guy! I need HIM to headline at my comedy club!” or maybe “THAT guy would be PERFECT for this multi-million dollar role as the lead character in my new horror movie!”.

A guy can dream. World, forgive me for my sins. I’m just out to have a little fun.

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