Questions : Answered

These question aren’t necessarily “frequently asked”, but they’ve been asked of me at least once. Many of them are based on the revolving “quotes & quips” header on the front page, while others come from various projects I’ve done.

What was it like to be on the Bad Girls Club? What was Ailea REALLY like? What got cut?

I’m not really at liberty to discuss much of that. It’s in the contract. What I can say is this : Ailea seemed like a pretty normal girl at first, but once the cameras caught us talking, she started getting really needy and mean and whiny. Throughout the evening, she would flip from “pissed off and whiny” to “normal, happy-go-lucky” girl on a dime whenever the camera showed up.

As far as what got cut? I honestly don’t even remember.

Why would you admit such personal things on the front page of your website?

Cause it’s funnier that way. And, who cares? It’s no fun being serious and worried all the time.

Have you REALLY never worn a t-shirt onstage?

Really. Never. Always some kind of button-up. Once, I think I wore a long-sleeve thermal or something at an open mic.

I’m pretty sure you didn’t use the word “cat” in a performance of yours that I saw

I probably did. It’s a subtle thing.

Will you buy me a drink on a bad day?

Probably. I’d just be honored that you mentioned having seen this site, frankly.

Your little “quotes” header says I should send you nude photos. does anyone do that? and what do you do with them?

Yeah, people have done that quite a lot over the years. Mostly women, which is what I prefer, but I’ve gotten the occasional cock pic, too. As for what I do with them? Look at ’em, smile, and send a reply email of “thanks!”. I’ve never shared them with anyone, and I’d never post them online. They’re for my eyes only, and I wouldn’t breach the trust people would put in me to keep things like that secret.

So, ya know, feel free to shoot off a filthy email at me. I’d be only too pleased.

Why don’t you bless people when they sneeze?

I just prefer a non-denominational gesundheit is more appropriate. It simply means “good health”, and that’s the sentiment even the “god bless you” folks wish to impart. If I can do a very small part in chipping away at the religious standard of assuming everyone’s on board with the jesus fella – well, then, I’ll keep on saying gesundheit (and, sometimes, responding “please don’t” when people bless me — but that’s mostly just for fun).

Wait! Wait! I have more questions!

Okay, then email me a question and I’ll probably respond.