Mitcz

...wants you to know it's pronounced "Mitch"

My 2021 Predictions Reviewed

Written on December 31, 2021

I did this in 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020 because I’m fully okay with showing how wrong I can be (and, mostly, because it’s a fucking hoot), so I’m doing it again this year.

I’m going to review my predictions from last year, rate them by accuracy (aside from obvious joke predictions), and you can find my 2022 predictions by looking out for #mitczpredicts2022 on Twitter or just by just clicking here to see the #mitczpredicts2022 thread which will go live on Jan 1st, 2022.

I genuinely don’t remember almost any of my predictions, so this could go a lot of weird ways. I’ll bet I did only slightly better than last year, though.

Anyway, onto the #mitczpredicts2021 tweets

STATUS : FAILURE

I’m tellin’ ya, kids, this is coming at some point soon. Apple doesn’t want any damn ports, and they wanna make the iPhone as slim as possible. Once they remove that port, the whole damn thing becomes only as thick as the battery they can stuff into it.

STATUS : SUCCESS

I, for one, spent 4th of July at a bar. So, I’m calling this a win.

STATUS : FAILURE

Damnit. But, there WAS a hearing. So, like… give me some credit.

STATUS : SUCCESS

Okay, this is cheating cause I’m a co-founder and I wrote all the code for this (and, actually, every piece of functionality and design on ZeroSpaces.com), but hey : shipping a product counts. Sometimes that shit just doesn’t happen and projects die.

STATUS : SUCCESS

I swear I didn’t hear his name for about 2 months in the summer. It’s a small win, but I’ll take it.

STATUS : FAILURE

I’m surprised this one didn’t pan out. If he ever actually faces any legal consequences (LOL), maybe then the fuckers will disavow him.

STATUS : FAILURE

I did not put anything in anyone’s butt this year. It’s been a dry spell.

STATUS : HALF POINT

I did not interact with any new to me boobs this year. But I still got some n00dz here and there. So, thanks for supporting the cause, folks!

STATUS : FAILURE

I mean I, personally, enjoyed The Shrink Next Door but I don’t know anyone who actually watched it other than myself. It’s good! You should watch it!

STATUS : SUCCESS

I see “VAXXED / STD FREE” on a lot of dating sites which suggests to me that, yes, this is a thing. And that’s good! More of that please!

STATUS : SUCCESS

I don’t have any examples because I don’t wish to muddy my precious brain with rightwing attack circles, but I guarantee they’ve done this multiple times.

STATUS : JOKE TWEET

It is a bit weird, however, that I literally don’t remember the last time I heard her talk. I suspect that’ll change in 2022 when she’ll be riling crowds for Ds ahead of the midterms.

STATUS : FAILURE

Really, people? We’ve had 2 years being indoors and no one has coined a term for finally dropping the terrible habits and addictions we picked up to cope? I am disappoint.

STATUS : FAILURE

I uhh… I’m gonna try this again in 2022. Sorry, liver.

STATUS : SUCCESS

We got our blues in GA. Stacy Abrams was, rightfully, applauded for aiding in the efforts.

STATUS : FAILURE

Man, I am wrong about this one every single fucking time. It’ll prob happen the one year I don’t make this prediction.

STATUS : JOKE TWEET

WHY IS THIS NOT A THING YET?

STATUS : SUCCESS

You’re reading this, aren’t you? Which means you’re alive. And not in jail for drunk driving. And, if I know my audience, you got the vaccine and probably whined a little about the sore arm (it’s okay, I did too. My arm is currently sore from yesterday’s booster shot).

FINAL SCORE…

SUCCESS : 7.5
FAILURE : 8.5
JUST A JOKE : 2

I did one point better than last year! And almost 50/50 overall. I mean, that’s not bad for a very unpredictable year.

Anyway, make sure you’re following me on Twitter to find out what 2022 has in store and be safe out there, kids. I love ya, and I wanna see you back here in 2022!