I'm on Mastodon as well, and Elon Musk is a shithead My 2023 Predictions Reviewed – Mitcz.com

Mitcz

...wants you to know it's pronounced "Mitch"

My 2023 Predictions Reviewed

Written on December 31, 2023

I did this in 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022 because I’m fully okay with showing how wrong I can be (and, mostly, because it’s a fucking hoot), so I’m doing it again this year.

I’m going to review my predictions from last year, rate them by accuracy (aside from obvious joke predictions), and you can find my 2024 predictions by looking out for #mitczpredicts2024 on Twitter or just by just clicking here to see the #mitczpredicts2024 thread which will go live on Jan 1st, 2024.

While I can only remember a few I nailed or failed, without further ado, onto the #mitczpredicts2023 tweets…

STATUS : FAILURE

Okay, not off to a strong start here. I don’t think there were any plastic trinkets we got obsessed with this year, did we? This was mostly a joke tweet, but I’ll take the L anyway.

STATUS : HALF SUCCESS

Good lord almighty I did not predict 2023 was going to be “The Year of AI!” as it’s been so often coined. I thought maybe we’d all have a little fun with the new ChatGPT version(s) and maybe something cool and useful would slip through, but I didn’t expect to have SO MANY GODDAMN CONVERSATIONS ABOUT AI. If you work in tech in any fashion, someone who doesn’t work in tech has bothered you about AI with all the wide-eyed wonder of a child staring at a fax machine like it’s magic.

I call this a half-success because, yes, pure fucking idiocy has taken hold over some folks who think the various OpenAI tools are literal magic, despite very rarely adding much value beyond a shortcut for tedious tasks (the number of copywriters for corporate brochures and websites who have told me ChatGPT made them less likely to pull out every hair in their head individually is too high to calculate, for example), and even some people I respect have tried pushing me to “just use AI!” when I’m faced with a tech-based task I’m struggling with.

Where I missed the mark is that I haven’t (yet!) seen great sex chat bot usage in this field. That will wait for a future prediction.

Frankly, I could spend a great deal of time on just reviewing this one prediction, as I’ve never had a more controversial prediction in the history of this project (most of them coming from DMs and texts, not via Twitter/X itself). But, let’s move on. I KNOW you have your opinions on this one, I just do not care right now.

STATUS : FUCKING NAILED IT

That’s me. On my balcony. Having a cigar. IN HOLLYWOOD WHERE I BELONG. This has been the most complicated, expensive, time-consuming, and even somewhat scary, move of my life. And I’m a fella who’s moved more times than anyone I know. I searched for over a year, went to countless open houses, met with countless managers, agents, you name it. Even getting into this place was a multi-step process, and I made this move just barely in time to make this prediction come true.

But I sit here, in my well-lit-by-nature living room with my two beautiful boys (the cats) wearing a giant fucking smile cause, goddamnit, I got the fuck out of Van Nuys and back to where I belong and, frankly, if none of my other predictions were even close to the mark, this is truly the only one I actually care about.

STATUS : HALF-SUCCESS

I could give myself full points for this one as Twitter (I don’t care what the douche calls it) has still managed to survive AND Melon Husk did step down as CEO. However, he didn’t “ditch it” or sell it to someone else. Man, I gotta stop putting so many predictions into one prediction.

STATUS : JOKE TWEET

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Yes, of course this wasn’t an actual prediction. That said, I did make a fantastic bread bowl for some soup while I was sick a few months ago. Hat tip to Brian Lagerstrom’s recipe on YouTube.

STATUS : FAILURE

Seriously, why is no one talking about this? I even just bought an empty spray bottle on Amazon for homemade cleaner usage and it has the same “press the handle and get a cool, even spray for multiple seconds in one shot” mechanism and I just don’t know how this tech suddenly popped up and somehow no one cracked it before, like, 2019(-ish?) without using batteries, CO2, etc.

I know, I’m the only one who cares about this but it’s so damn cool to me.

STATUS : FAILURE

Yeah, got this wrong on every level. Sorry, world. I wanted this to be true too.

STATUS : FAILURE

I genuinely thought this was gonna happen. That David Guetta character is famous for “remixing” songs into dance version bullshit hack efforts and I thought for sure he might do this. But, maybe, since Metallica are collectively nearly billionaires – and famously litigious as fuck – no one wants to poke that particular bear.

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That said, the crowd lost their absolute fucking minds when they played it at one of the two shows I saw them play at SoFi Stadium this year.

STATUS : FAILURE

I almost labelled this one as a joke tweet, but I did make an actual prediction here about The Tater (I think he looks like a poorly baked potato), so I’ll own up to this.

But, seriously, there remains no shortage of absolute fucking morons posing as “alpha dudes” pushing misogyny onto younger men and boys and it’s so fucking gross and … y’know, let’s move on, I’m so fucking done paying any attention to their horseshit.

STATUS : FAILURE

I should’ve made this prediction for 2022 when he did exactly that.

STATUS : JOKE TWEET

I’ll call this a joke tweet, but I did dole out a solid share of spankings on new and old partners this year.

STATUS : FAILURE

Fine, fine, the Cybertruck eeked into the tail end of 2023 as an actual drivable vehicle. Surprised we didn’t get more electric truck news this year, but I can’t say I pay that close of attention to such things so maybe I missed a few.

STATUS : SUCCESS

Obviously too early to tell, but he definitely didn’t go to jail in 2023. I still doubt he ever will, but please invite me to your “the fucker’s dead” party and I’ll bring the gin to celebrate with you.

STATUS : FAILURE

Well, shit, how was I to know Hollywood was gonna shut down on multiple levels for most of the year? Sheesh, I’m not Mitczstrodamus over here.

STATUS : I don’t know, maybe?

I don’t really pay attention to app discourse, and certainly not weather app discourse, but I remember this being kind of a big deal to some folks I pay attention to and/or know IRL at the time. I haven’t heard a peep since then, so let’s call this a draw. Personally, I’ve been quite happy with the surprisingly improved accuracy of the default iOS weather app.

STATUS : SUCCESS

I mean, c’mon, who in this current year of our (pick your hero and/or villain character to believe in) has made any positive remarks about Kanye or his statements that isn’t, themselves, a giant pile of shit?

Yeah, I thought so.

STATUS : FAILURE

Okay, wishful thinking. Sure. It was worth a shot!

STATUS : SUCCESS

I’m calling this one a win cause you’re here, damnit. I don’t know what you did, or thought, or whether or not you DID NOT FUCKING DRIVE DRUNK, but you’re here. And, though I haven’t tallied my score for 2023 yet, I suspect I’ll need this win.

FINAL SCORE…

SUCCESS : 5
FAILURE : 10
JUST A JOKE / DRAW : 3

Well, I biffed on this one pretty hard. But, like I said, the most important one was correct. So, fuck it.

Anyway, make sure you’re following me on Twitter to find out what 2024 has in store and be safe out there, kids. I love ya, and I wanna see you back here in 2025!