Mitcz

...wants you to know it's pronounced "Mitch"

Funny Stories

Stories that aim to make you laugh. There are 15 stories so far
The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 2)
2016
Apr
27
The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 2)
Filed Under : Celebrity Stories, Funny Stories, Weird Stories Est. Reading Time : 9 mins

(if you missed Part 1, you’re gonna be confused) Probably the number one thing I miss about living in the heart of Hollywood is being able to walk to giant events and goings-on around me. It makes you feel pretty g'damn awesome when you can just walk out your door and go to the most famous movie theatre in the world just to see a matinee. Or to the Pantages to ...

The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 1)
2016
Apr
27
The First (and only) LARPY Awards (Part 1)
Filed Under : Celebrity Stories, Funny Stories, Weird Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

One of the fun, albeit sometimes weird, things about living in a Big City -- especially one with such an entertainment-based economy as Los Angeles -- is that opportunities will fall into your lap in the strangest of ways, and there's a constant test of your willingness to go along with them. Behind Door Number One is "this thing some guy offered and you're not even sure if you'll ...

Accidental Cocaine
2015
Jun
18
Accidental Cocaine
Filed Under : Drug Stories, Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 4 mins

I haven't done a lot of drugs in my life. Or, maybe I've done a sizable amount, but not a lot of different types of drugs. Here's a short list of every drug I've done (recreationally, I'm not gonna count painkillers I've taken as part of dental surgery and shit) : cigarettes marijuana alcohol LSD shrooms ecstacy ketamine paxil See? A pretty short list, all things considered. Now, sure, some of those entries number in the 100s of uses each ...

Weed, Man
2015
Jun
5
Weed, Man
Filed Under : Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

I've made reference in the past to the first time I smoked weed, but I didn't go into detail -- nor did I talk about the first time I actually got high. If you've (for some strange reason) never done drugs, this might seem strange to you that they're two separate events. Over the course of many crazy late nights partying on the Denny's lawn, I came to know ...

Marilyn Manson Macarena
2015
Jun
3
Marilyn Manson Macarena
Filed Under : Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

If you were a dark and brooding teenager in the mid-late 90s, you were riding a pretty sweet wave when it came to music. The king, almost the PT Barnum if you will, was Trent Reznor. There were several great Nine Inch Nails (NIN) records : Pretty Hate Machine, Broken , and a tour and duet with David Bowie.  If that wasn't enough, Reznor had his own label -- Nothing Records -- ...

Fake It ‘Til You Make It
2015
May
12
Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Filed Under : Childhood Stories, Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

I've mentioned, many times before, that my mom was not only a middle-school Drama teacher but that she also helped run a summer youth drama camp. The name of the camp (or is it "company" cause it's, like, play related?) was "Greasepaint", and it was founded by -- and predominantly run by -- a lady named Wendy. I just Googled "greasepaint phoenix wendy" and, sure enough, I had the right ...

The “No Food” Roof Diving Team
2015
May
8
The “No Food” Roof Diving Team
Filed Under : Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

There are some personal jokes you'll have with people you've known for years that take a long time to explain. And there's some things you did as a younger person that older you looks back on and thinks "jesus, I was fucking insane". This story incorporates both. When I started high school, I was living in a house across from the middle school where my mom worked. The previous owners ...

A Series of Awkward Boners
2015
May
1
A Series of Awkward Boners
Filed Under : Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

As a man, as some of you might know, your dick and your brain only seem to work together when The Dick wants it. But, if The Dick wants to just get hard for no fucking reason whatsoever, well... goddamnit, The Dick's gonna do what it's gonna do and your brain's gonna have to try and run a slideshow of naked grandmothers in your head and hope for the best. Usually, The ...

My First Cool Kids and Weed Party
2015
Apr
30
My First Cool Kids and Weed Party
Filed Under : Drug Stories, Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

I wish I could remember how I met Shaun. He was a year ahead of me in school, entering his first year of high school before I entered the 8th grade. I remember we only hung out after school - even when we both went to the same high school, I almost never saw him. He was big into acting and singing and drama class, and I - being ...

NSFW
A Thing I Can’t Un-See
2015
Apr
28
A Thing I Can’t Un-See
Filed Under : Filthy Stories, Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

In my Junior year of high school, I dated a girl named Summer for a few months. This was before I'd had sex, and -- odd though it may seem now -- I was in no rush to change that. I really liked foreplay-style sex. Oral, fingers, handjobs, licking, biting, even dry-humping. I still love all of that, sometimes even more than sex itself (depending on the partner). Summer and ...

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