...wants you to know it's pronounced "Mitch"
Est. Reading Time : 3 mins

61 Down, 304 to Go!

Filed under : Updates

Written on April 30, 2015

I’m checking in again to do my semi-monthly 1though, really, I don’t think I’ll do this every month update.

I’m still overwhelmed by the amount of people who read this shit, and by friends of mine who come up to me to say “hey, I read (insert story here) the other day. That shit was (insert descriptive phrase here)!”. According to my Google Analytics, the average user spends almost 5 minutes per visit on my site, and less than 10% of users leave in less than a minute.

I got a lot of online and offline response to my saddest story yet, and I want to say simultaneously : thank you, and don’t worry. I didn’t expect it to go that route, but I don’t have outlines of every story planned out – I just have one-liner reminders of “hey, tell this story!” and I write until I feel like I’ve said what I needed to say. That one took me by surprise, and I’m always going to regret not having a proper ending or wrap-up written for it. I’m leaving it as it is, because I like the raw emotion of it all, but I’m trying to stick my own internal quality control of leaving on a high note.

All of that being said – there will definitely be sadder stories to come. I considered making a “this is very sad” tag, the way I do with the Filthy Stories posts tagged as NSFW but I kinda dig surprising folks with emotional stuff like that. No one told me I’d cry in the first 5 minutes of Pixar’s Up, and – despite being on a date with a woman at the time – I loved every minute of it, including the parts I couldn’t see through tears.

As I said, I appreciate the concern, but don’t worry – I’m mature enough at this stage in my life to appreciate emotional moments like that. I appreciate them, as they remind me that I’m still human, and that I still have the capacity to cry and feel memories. I’ve been through my share of shit in life, and I’m happy to share it, but I’m not special in that regard. Some of the stories others have shared with me while relating to a story that touched them has been all too heavy a reminder of my not being unique in that regard. No one gets out of this life unscathed, and I don’t want my stories to exude an air of “ohh woe is me, for I have suffered so greatly!”. We’ve all suffered, and I wouldn’t begin to compare mine to others’, nor do I want anyone to feel sorry for me. I’m just telling stories from my life in some vain attempt to provide entertainment, as a culmination of a nearly lifelong pursuit of doing things that are story-worthy.

One of my desktop backgrounds 2I have two monitors, cause I live on my computer is this : and it was that quote that inspired me to finally write some of shit down, just to see what happens (and to become a better writer through practice).

On a somewhat lighter note – several people expressed hatred towards the girl who fucked with me in middle school. A friend of mine back in Phoenix sent me a rap sheet from her most recent mug shot. You might not know this but the most populated county in Arizona is ruled by their fuck-headed sheriff Joe Arpaio who’s all about humiliation of criminals. To that end, he makes sure everyone’s rap sheet and mugshots are posted online. The Maricopa County Sheriff’s office website even has a “mugshot of the day” presented like it’s just so fun. It’s because of things like that which lead a friend of mine to send me a photo of her various offenses over the years. She’s since lead a life of assault & battery, several counts of theft, weapons possession, armed robbery, and more. She’s spent plenty of time in jails, years at a time, in the time since I knew her.

So, I guess if you were like “I hope that bitch gets what’s coming to her” : she pretty much has.

Is it weird to end on a karmic justice note? I don’t know. But, I’m going to anyway. Thank you again, and I love you all 3like, in theory.. I mean, I probably wouldn’t marry any of you, but you’re a-okay in my book.


1 though, really, I don’t think I’ll do this every month
2 I have two monitors, cause I live on my computer
3 like, in theory.. I mean, I probably wouldn’t marry any of you, but you’re a-okay in my book