I'm not going to pretend I'm a party animal, but I do love a good party and I've been to a lot of them in my time. It surprises me that, despite some of the craziest shit I've seen at parties, and the sheer number of private (and public, I guess) events that I've been to in my life that could reasonably be called a party, only two that I can ...
I've long thought that anti-drug speeches, "abstinence-only" sex education, and all such "keep teenagers from doing teenager things" education is way too constrained and inside-the-box. They need to shift paradigms if they're really interested in getting teens onto the path of the straight and narrow. Instead of telling kids to abstain from sex -- send a 15-year-old kid on a date with a washed-up streetwalker at the end of her shift. ...
I have to take a little break from this insane project for a little bit. Probably only a week. I'm slammed with a lot of work, comedy, and I need a little more social life in me. I've managed to pump out 112 of these bitches nonstop thus far, but it's getting tough to either write enough to pad out a few days in advance or make the time every ...
I'll never forget the night of January 2nd, 2000. I was living in Seattle, holed up in my shitty attic room, while rain smacked against the small, rickety old window in my room. I was feeling lonely, and depressed. My father called me to check in on my New Year, and see how things were going with me in Seattle. Since around the time I first moved out on my ...
(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be confused) What I try to tell people who don't know what the Bad Girls Club is about is this : imagine if you could borrow Paris Hilton's undeserved fame, her inherited money, and her self-aggrandizing behavior and could temporarily bestow that equally to 7 angry, attention-starved socialite 20-something girls, and then you threw them into a rent-free mansion, supplied them more alcohol ...
Yes, it's true. I was on the Bad Girls Club, Season 3. That's the one with "the Ambers", and Ailea. Technically, I'm not sure I'm allowed to talk about any of this, but the producers said that only applied for about 6 months after the episode aired. Seeing as it's been almost 7 years since it aired, I think I'm okay. Here's the inside scoop on how it happened, what went down, and ...
I haven't done a lot of drugs in my life. Or, maybe I've done a sizable amount, but not a lot of different types of drugs. Here's a short list of every drug I've done (recreationally, I'm not gonna count painkillers I've taken as part of dental surgery and shit) : cigarettes marijuana alcohol LSD shrooms ecstacy ketamine paxil See? A pretty short list, all things considered. Now, sure, some of those entries number in the 100s of uses each ...
This is actually two three fucked-up stories all at once. Cause, fuck it, why only tell you a single two-minute story? For this tale, it helps (but isn't mandatory) if you've read An Origin Story, of sort (Part 3).
In 6th grade, I moved with my mom and sister out of the house we once shared with my dad into a nice 3-bedroom apartment in still-developing area of Paradise ...
I cannot stress enough, in my advanced age, the importance of brushing your teeth. You can floss, too, if you'd like. And carry mouthwash in your car, as I've been doing for years. But, nothing does as much preventative care as simply brushing your teeth at least once a day. If you're paranoid, do it before you go to bed and then again when you wake up. If I had kids, ...
Story 1 I've been online dating since online dating began. Well, probably not literally, but... long enough. 16 years or so. Throughout that time, I've met a lot of cool people, had many crazy stories, and made a lot of new friends and lovers over the years. I'm still doing it, now that there's a wealth of options like OKCupid, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, FetLife, and more. In all these years, I've ...