(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be confused) The conditions of my suspension were that I would be held accountable for all missed schoolwork, which I was to turn in upon my return to school. To facilitate this, my mom would swing by the school every few days and pick up assignments from my teachers. Because my mom was busy running classes of her own, there was no ...

I realize that, reading through some of these stories of my younger self, it might come off like I've been trying absolve myself of guilt and that I just conveniently "didn't know any better" when it came to the ability to fly, or nazi history, or semi-adult stories spit out from a vending machine, or things like that. I promise I'm just that dumb. Or, at best, ...

(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be confused) I was so relaxed and filled with euphoria and a sense of purpose in the world when the loud bang echoed through the air. It almost felt like it shook the apartment, like a tiny little earthquake. I immediately jumped up, ran out to the living room and saw... very few people in there. Maybe 10, in total. I said "where ...

A funny thing can happen when you're on LSD. You're on it for so many hours that it starts to just feel "normal". Like, you kinda think "man, I've crossed over -- this is my life now. This is how my brain works now". It's not a scary feeling -- unless you're a paranoid person, I suppose -- it's more of a euphoric feeling. You've got tingles all over ...

(if you missed Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and/or Part 4, you're gonna be confused) Alan didn't care for my insinuation that he was pretending to be her friend only to swoop in on her during a moment of weakness. He said "despite how offended I am by that, I'm gonna do you a solid here, cause it sounds like she told you a lot ...

(If you missed Part 1, Part 2, and/or Part 3, you're gonna be confused) I really didn't intend to hook up with my Canadian friend -- let's call her Natalie. I didn't think that option was even on the table, frankly. She came to town and wanted to hang out. So, we hung out at my place and watched Napoleon Dynamite which was -- at the time -- still relatively ...

(If you missed Part 1 and/or Part 2, you're gonna be confused) A few weeks after our wild first weekend, I had a cold and she picked me up and said she wanted to take care of me. She made soup, jerked me off, tucked me into bed. That's a wonderful way to take care of a man. She said she was really falling for me, and I ...

(If you missed Part 1, you're gonna be confused) The night after we met, Lauren invited me to hit up a few Hollywood goth/fetish clubs. Despite having lived in Hollywood for about 4 months at that point, I'd never actually gone exploring. When I picked her up, she got into the car wearing a corset, fishnets, and a single-ring bondage collar. She handed me a leather leash and said ...

From the outset I want it made clear that I don't just run around calling every woman crazy, but full disclosure : I'll jokingly use the term lightly for people I've known and I don't mean it literally in most cases. In this case, however, I mean it in the sense that I don't understand her motives, behaviors, and actions when looking at them as a sane person. I'm not ...

(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be confused) In December of 2001, Cheyenne and I traveled north to San Francisco to catch the final 2 shows of the Tomahawk tour . We stayed with a friend of a friend of one of my co-workers (long story, not worth telling) so shit was chill. And shit was freezing g'damn cold. But, damnit, we were in ...