(If you missed Part 1 and/or Part 2, you're gonna be confused) A few weeks after our wild first weekend, I had a cold and she picked me up and said she wanted to take care of me. She made soup, jerked me off, tucked me into bed. That's a wonderful way to take care of a man. She said she was really falling for me, and I ...

From the outset I want it made clear that I don't just run around calling every woman crazy, but full disclosure : I'll jokingly use the term lightly for people I've known and I don't mean it literally in most cases. In this case, however, I mean it in the sense that I don't understand her motives, behaviors, and actions when looking at them as a sane person. I'm not ...

As a man, as some of you might know, your dick and your brain only seem to work together when The Dick wants it. But, if The Dick wants to just get hard for no fucking reason whatsoever, well... goddamnit, The Dick's gonna do what it's gonna do and your brain's gonna have to try and run a slideshow of naked grandmothers in your head and hope for the best. Usually, The ...

(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be confused) Throughout the remaining month or so of summer, I got pretty good at driving The Bus and acclimating to its various quirks. Chuck (my stepdad) gave me a book provided by Darryl called "The Complete Idiots Guide to Volkswagen Bus Maintenance and Repair". He told me any issue I'd have with The ...

It was August, 1991. I was 12 years old. It was at the tail-end of the summer mentioned in An Origin Story (of sorts). My memory isn't so fantastic that I can recall actual months and years this far out but, since this story hinges on the morning of the release of Metallica's Metallica, I looked up the date. My father ...

Having already told you about my first real body piercing, I figure it's time to discuss my personal favorite body piercing. Don't worry, there are no photos of my dick in this post. It was December, 1998. I'd been hanging out with this guy Kevin, who was a mutual friend of Cheyenne, and who worked at an AM/PM convenience store on the night shift . Now, this was a ...

In 2004, I moved to Hollywood (from Orange County) with my buddy Nad. It was a pretty small and dingy place, only a window a/c unit, 1 bathroom, two small bedrooms and a tiny little kitchen. The manager of the place was this older gay man that was clearly in over his head as a manager. He didn't seem to know anything about rental laws, ...

I've told this story before, on an old bonus episode of Straight Riffin, but it was with colorful commentary from my co-host and our guest that evening. So, perhaps I can tell a shorter version of the story now. For a brief time in early 2001, I worked at a Circle K doing the graveyard shit. It looked quite a lot like this (note the glass door in ...

Yes, I'm that old. Yes, it was fucking unreal. Yes, it was probably not unlike how my parents would've felt seeing The Beatles in their prime. Since the "definitive rock doc" of Kurt Cobain will be released soon, this feels timely. I was about to turn 15. I was a freshman in high school. I had recently made friends with a man I'll refer to throughout these stories ...