I'm on Mastodon as well, and Elon Musk is a shithead Stories – Page 4 – Mitcz.com

Mitcz

...wants you to know it's pronounced "Mitch"
Marilyn Manson Macarena
2015
Jun
3
Marilyn Manson Macarena
Filed Under : Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

If you were a dark and brooding teenager in the mid-late 90s, you were riding a pretty sweet wave when it came to music. The king, almost the PT Barnum if you will, was Trent Reznor. There were several great Nine Inch Nails (NIN) records : Pretty Hate Machine, Broken , and a tour and duet with David Bowie.  If that wasn't enough, Reznor had his own label -- Nothing Records -- ...

Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 4)
2015
Jun
2
Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 4)
Filed Under : Serial Stories, Weird Stories Est. Reading Time : 7 mins

(if you missed Part 1, Part 2, and/or Part 3, you're gonna be confused) It's difficult to summarize an entire year of one's life into little 5-7 minute pieces, but there's a lot to cover. There's also a lot of shorter stories in between, which I'll definitely end up telling separately. This series of posts is more of an overview. Or, perhaps, the bloodstream of the body ...

Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 3)
2015
Jun
1
Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 3)
Filed Under : Serial Stories, Weird Stories Est. Reading Time : 7 mins

(if you missed Part 1 and/or Part 2, you're gonna be confused) After those first 4-5 months, I was really settling in to my new life. I found a companion in Shane, who would join me out on the town as a fellow single man cruisin' for ...

Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 2)
2015
May
31
Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 2)
Filed Under : Serial Stories, Weird Stories Est. Reading Time : 7 mins

(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be confused) My first week in Seattle was surprisingly uneventful. Or at least... not that memorable. It was mostly house hunting, and a series of coffee shops, little restaurants, and the occasional bar. I was only 20 at the time, and I'd still never been drunk, so I didn't really care about bars that much. I was always the designated driver, though, so I ...

Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 1)
2015
May
30
Spending a Year in a Communist Compound (Part 1)
Filed Under : Serial Stories, Weird Stories Est. Reading Time : 8 mins

I remember when I was a teenager and I had to tape episodes of Beverly Hills 90210 for my older sister, one of the first lines in the first episode was spoken by a voiceover and they said something like "they say your birthplace shouldn't be where you were born, but where you learned who you are - and this was my birthplace...". Using that line of logic, Seattle would be my ...

My First Real Adult Human Person Job
2015
May
29
My First Real Adult Human Person Job
Filed Under : General Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

It's a funny thing when you reach adulthood and you find out how many lies you were told throughout your life. They're mostly innocuous "white lies". Things adults will say to keep you in line and out of trouble, and with hopes that you'll make something of your life. That's all adults who give a shit about your life ever want -- a good life for you, and not having ...

NSFW
Teenagers Swappin’ Oral
2015
May
28
Teenagers Swappin’ Oral
Filed Under : Filthy Stories Est. Reading Time : 7 mins

I've mentioned before the girl -- Amy -- that I dated for about 2 weeks early in my Sophomore year of high school that checked off a lot of "firsts" for me. This is a story about two more "firsts" with her : my first blowjob, and the first time I went down on a woman. At the time, I lived across the street from the middle school where my ...

NSFW
Shakin’ Hands With Beef
2015
May
27
Shakin’ Hands With Beef
Filed Under : Filthy Stories Est. Reading Time : 4 mins

I don't know what you ladies said to each other in your younger years as light-natured ribbing. Hell, I'm not even sure if ladies do light-natured ribbing. But for us fellas, the list of jokes when you're young and poking fun at each other is pretty short : you masturbate too much you can't "get" a woman (see #1) your dick is tiny you don't last long in bed you're gay (much more common pre-2000 compared to today) It ...

Tina : The Pimp of Alt Porn
2015
May
26
Tina : The Pimp of Alt Porn
Filed Under : General Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

This is part of a series of posts about an internet-based live TV talk show I created/hosted called Aural Salvation. Reading about the origin of the show isn't required, but it might help give you some context. It would also help to know that I built up a large, enthusiastic audience by interviewing naked alt-porn girls, and a MySpace celebrity gone actual-celebrity. Since I already had a weekly drop-in to ...

Jeffree Star’s First Interview
2015
May
25
Jeffree Star’s First Interview
Filed Under : Weird Stories Est. Reading Time : 8 mins

As part of a few days of early Aural Salvation stories that explain how my show rocketed up in (relative) popularity in a short time, I've explained its origin, the early awkwardness of having to fulfill interview duties from the guy whose time slot I overtook, how I captured attention with a nudity-laden alt-porn plug, and now I'll tell you about the most popular episode -- for ...