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Mitcz

...wants you to know it's pronounced "Mitch"
The Godless Chronicles (Part 2)
2015
Mar
28
The Godless Chronicles (Part 2)
Filed Under : General Stories, Serial Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be lost) UPDATE : I've added a video of a full Godless performance right over here, if you're interested. Over the course of a few months, we performed quite a bit. I had to be sneaked in to a few of the venues, being that I was barely 17 and the rest of the band was in their early ...

The Godless Chronicles (Part 1)
2015
Mar
27
The Godless Chronicles (Part 1)
Filed Under : General Stories, Serial Stories Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

Godless was an industrial band in Phoenix in the late 90s, of which I was made a semi-member. Technically I was never part of the band, but I was associated with the band and I performed with them as what amounts to, basically, stage decor. Not that I minded it, I had a blast and I learned a lot and made some lifelong friends out of the whole experience. I wouldn't feel ...

The “Dude” Family
2015
Mar
26
The “Dude” Family
Filed Under : Childhood Stories Est. Reading Time : 4 mins

It's apparently common for children to have imaginary friends, and I recall thinking my doll Koos-Koos  could hear me, but up until around 11 years old, I also had an entire imaginary family. They were the Dude family. To be a little more clear - it was actually just me who was the entirety of the Dude family. (this whole story is making me sweat with embarrassment cause I've never talked about this before, but ...

Two Times I Almost Died Doing Something Stupid
2015
Mar
25
Two Times I Almost Died Doing Something Stupid
Filed Under : Clean Stories Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

Neither of these stories is long enough in its own right, but since they're on the same topic - maybe the two combined will be worthwhile. Story 1 The summer before my junior year, I worked at a movie theatre - part of a chain in Phoenix called "Harkins Theatres" (yes, this is where I met Jennifer). It was a shit job, and this was ...

My First Girlfriend
2015
Mar
24
My First Girlfriend
Filed Under : Dating Stories Est. Reading Time : 4 mins

This is a story about Pam. You might remember her from the end of my Origin Story. As I'd mentioned at the time, her and Bill had broken up. It was a very amicable breakup in hindsight - being that I knew nothing at all about dating at the time, it didn't seem that weird, but now as an adult I'm ...

Happiness is a Sandwich on Your Own Sofa
2015
Mar
23
Happiness is a Sandwich on Your Own Sofa
Filed Under : Happy Stories Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

Few things in this world can compare to the joy and freedom a young person experiences when they spend their first few days in their first adult home - a place with their name on a lease, no parents anywhere in sight. Freedom. And responsibility. But, let's focus on the freedom. The summer after I graduated high school, my mom and her husband were out of town a lot - which ...

Falling Into a Lifelong Career
2015
Mar
22
Falling Into a Lifelong Career
Filed Under : General Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

It really wasn't my intention to be in my mid-late 30s primarily as a web designer, secondarily as a comedian. I thought I was supposed to be a lead singer in a band. In some alternate universe, I'm screamin' out the hits. Maybe in that alternate universe, I can actually sing. So, how did I end up making websites for the past ~20 years? Well, it's kind of about a girl. Odd ...

Math is Confusing When You’re Tripping
2015
Mar
21
Math is Confusing When You’re Tripping
Filed Under : The LSD Chronicles Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

In my first apartment, when I was 19, we had quite a few LSD parties. Some of them were epic, others were a disaster. Such is the way when you're inviting way too many people into a 2-bedroom apartment to lie around in the dark and "expand their mind". My roommate at the time - Jim, the lead singer of a local band - didn't like doing acid. He preferred ...

You Can’t IOU The Bank
2015
Mar
20
You Can’t IOU The Bank
Filed Under : Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 3 mins

When I was 19, I bounced around from various shit jobs. Telemarketing, freelance design, convenience store jobs, temp work, you name it. I was living in my first apartment with 2 girls - one that I'd worked with at a movie theatre in high school, Jennifer, and her friend (let's call her Tammy, I don't remember her name). Jennifer was the source of a lot of anguish in my ...

NSFW
I Did Some Gay Porn Once
2015
Mar
19
I Did Some Gay Porn Once
Filed Under : Filthy Stories, Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

When I was 20, I lived in a 2-bedroom shithole apartment in the semi-ghetto of Phoenix. This 2-bedroom apartment was $455/month. This is when a 1-bedroom in a normal Phoenix suburb would average about $700/month, so you can imagine how shitty the area was. With rent that cheap, I never held down a job for the entire 8+ months I lived in this wretched, stinking, shithole apartment. Instead, I got by on whatever means I could. ...