I'm on Mastodon as well, and Elon Musk is a shithead Stories – Page 3 – Mitcz.com

Mitcz

...wants you to know it's pronounced "Mitch"
How I Got Started in Porn
2015
Jun
13
How I Got Started in Porn
Filed Under : General Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

In case you don't know, and before you get all excited (or grossed-out), I don't mean that I'm in porn -- I've worked (and continue to work) in the porn industry. I'm a porn web designer. I've designed 1000s of websites in my life, and 100s of them have been porn. I've worked for niche fetish companies. I've worked for Vivid (where I got to design Vivid.com back in '05). I've been ...

Slappy Joe Meets Boobs Girl
2015
Jun
12
Slappy Joe Meets Boobs Girl
Filed Under : The LSD Chronicles Est. Reading Time : 4 mins

It was another crazy night at Kevin's place. Cheyenne and I split the cost of a full sheet of LSD, so I was big pimpin' as the provider of the fry. It was a nice feeling to not have to worry about actually procuring acid any time I wanted it, and it was really good acid. It was called "Mad Hatter", and the blotter art was comprised of miniature ...

My Afternoon in College
2015
Jun
11
My Afternoon in College
Filed Under : General Stories Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

I've always been amused with the phrase "giving it the ol' college try". I don't even really know what it means, or if a "college try" is an actual thing. I've always taken it to mean "try your best and don't worry too much", but I'm probably wrong. If it's specific to the person, as in "treat this as you did with your days in college", then anyone giving me that ...

Videogames As Sport
2015
Jun
10
Videogames As Sport
Filed Under : General Stories Est. Reading Time : 8 mins

I played a lot of videogames growing up, across many systems. My first system was the Commodore 64, onto which I actually programmed some of my own videogames. There were a few games on there that I thought I was really good at, based on playing friends of mine. But we had a paper boy who also had the same games on his Commodore 64 and he whooped my ass ...

Doris Mouse Earrings (Part 2)
2015
Jun
9
Doris Mouse Earrings (Part 2)
Filed Under : Serial Stories, Weird Stories Est. Reading Time : 8 mins

(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be confused) The plans were set in motion : I was to fly to Salt Lake City, Utah. Then rent a car to drive to the tiny border town of Pocatello, Idaho. Then get a hotel nearby. All of this was on my own dime, including the time ...

Doris Mouse Earrings (Part 1)
2015
Jun
8
Doris Mouse Earrings (Part 1)
Filed Under : Serial Stories, Weird Stories Est. Reading Time : 7 mins

In Mid-2007, things were winding down for Aural Salvation, I wasn't doing much comedy (hell, I performed maybe once a year from 2003-2008), and I was gettin' the old acting bug. When you're non-union, have no agent, and you're unsure if you actually can act, your source for acting gigs is Craigslist. This means it's a crap-shoot. Sure, student films are fine, but sometimes you end up making weird movies ...

NSFW
Triple Sex on Triple Six
2015
Jun
7
Triple Sex on Triple Six
Filed Under : Filthy Stories Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

I'll never forget 6/6/6 -- June 6, 2006. Not only is that one of my favorite numbers, but I feel like I rang that shit in properly. I was still doing my show Aural Salvation, I was at a fetish club called HEX, and I was hanging out with a group of circus-act freaks (who were also semi-regular guests of my show) that were doing their brand of ...

The Best Dog Ever
2015
Jun
6
The Best Dog Ever
Filed Under : Childhood Stories Est. Reading Time : 8 mins

Toby is a sacred word in my family. The mere mention of Toby around me, my sister, my father, or my late mother means getting an hour's worth of stories without prompt. Toby was more than just our dog. Toby was our security detail, our nanny, our unspecified family member, and a representation of all that was good in our family. ...

Weed, Man
2015
Jun
5
Weed, Man
Filed Under : Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

I've made reference in the past to the first time I smoked weed, but I didn't go into detail -- nor did I talk about the first time I actually got high. If you've (for some strange reason) never done drugs, this might seem strange to you that they're two separate events. Over the course of many crazy late nights partying on the Denny's lawn, I came to know ...

NSFW
A Weird Impromptu Date and An Unsolved Mystery
2015
Jun
4
A Weird Impromptu Date and An Unsolved Mystery
Filed Under : Filthy Stories, Weird Stories Est. Reading Time : 8 mins

It was the night before MLK day, 2005. I remember that, not because I've got such an enriched soul that I track memorial days of fallen human rights activists, but because I didn't have to work the next day - a Monday. I was in Long Beach, visiting some friends of mine (probably having a barbecue party or something). Around 9pm, that shindig was winding down, so I decided ...