I'm on Mastodon as well, and Elon Musk is a shithead Stories – Page 8 – Mitcz.com

Mitcz

...wants you to know it's pronounced "Mitch"
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Reptilian Testicle Syndrome
2015
Apr
25
Reptilian Testicle Syndrome
Filed Under : Filthy Stories, Funny Stories Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

I've been pretty vocal across various performance outlets (internet TV shows, podcasts, stand-up comedy performances, other blog entries, tweets) about my pubic grooming habits. Some might even say that I'm an advocate for pubic grooming, since I've discussed it at quite some length, and I regularly recommend it to my male and female (though mostly male) friends alike. Though I used to shave my arms and legs in high school to ...

Meeting Mike Patton (Part 2)
2015
Apr
24
Meeting Mike Patton (Part 2)
Filed Under : Celebrity Stories, Serial Stories Est. Reading Time : 8 mins

(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be confused) In December of 2001, Cheyenne and I traveled north to San Francisco to catch the final 2 shows of the Tomahawk tour . We stayed with a friend of a friend of one of my co-workers (long story, not worth telling) so shit was chill. And shit was freezing g'damn cold. But, damnit, we were in ...

Meeting Mike Patton (Part 1)
2015
Apr
23
Meeting Mike Patton (Part 1)
Filed Under : Celebrity Stories, Serial Stories Est. Reading Time : 4 mins

Since Faith No More is in town for 3 nights, and I just got back from the 1st of their 3 shows (and have passes for seeing them again tomorrow, April 23rd), this is a good time to tell my Mike Patton stories. Mike Patton, if you don't know, is the lead singer of Faith No More. Before that, he was the lead singer of Mr. Bungle, and he's been so prolific that ...

The Rise and Fall of The Bus (Part 3)
2015
Apr
22
The Rise and Fall of The Bus (Part 3)
Filed Under : Happy Stories, Serial Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

(if you missed Part 1 and Part 2, you're gonna be confused) It must have been just a few weeks into my Senior year of high school. I was working at an arts & crafts store called Old America at the time. The Bus was still consistently running out of gas at inconvenient ...

The Rise and Fall of The Bus (Part 2)
2015
Apr
21
The Rise and Fall of The Bus (Part 2)
Filed Under : Happy Stories, Serial Stories Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

(if you missed Part 1, you're gonna be confused) Throughout the remaining month or so of summer, I got pretty good at driving The Bus and acclimating to its various quirks. Chuck (my stepdad) gave me a book provided by Darryl called "The Complete Idiots Guide to Volkswagen Bus Maintenance and Repair". He told me any issue I'd have with The ...

The Rise and Fall of The Bus (Part 1)
2015
Apr
20
The Rise and Fall of The Bus (Part 1)
Filed Under : Happy Stories, Serial Stories Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

At the start of my Sophomore year of high school, I was 15 and had my Driver's Permit. As I was turning 16 in a few months, my mom knew I was going to start asking about some kind of car-for-myself situation. My sister's history of vehicles prior to that included things like her friend's beat-ass car that she bought for $300 that didn't have a key but a ...

Seeing Marilyn Manson in a Small Club
2015
Apr
19
Seeing Marilyn Manson in a Small Club
Filed Under : General Stories Est. Reading Time : 5 mins

In late 1994, Nine Inch Nails rolled through Phoenix  and I was ecstatic to get a chance to see them. I remember a kid in one of my classes telling me about various NIN shows that he'd caught, and it seemed like . As with the Nirvana story, NIN played our State Fair that year. Opening for them was the Jim Rose Circus, ...

I Was in The Girl Scouts
2015
Apr
18
I Was in The Girl Scouts
Filed Under : Childhood Stories Est. Reading Time : 3 mins

My sister is three years older than me. Much to her chagrin while growing up, she didn't have any sisters. But, she had a younger brother who looked up to her that she could torment, and a father who wanted his son to be a masculine man of sports and manly shit. Being the deviant genius she was, she used all these elements to have fun in her own ...

Snubbed at the Spelling Bee
2015
Apr
17
Snubbed at the Spelling Bee
Filed Under : General Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

Since I've already posted one harrowing story from the 8th grade, I figured I'd follow up with another. This one is way less intense and depressing, but it's a point of frustration and contention with me. I get that I don't "look smart" (whatever the fuck that means, but it's been said many times), and I don't necessarily blame people for thinking I'm ...

Why I Distrust Compliments, Women, and Attraction
2015
Apr
16
Why I Distrust Compliments, Women, and Attraction
Filed Under : Sad Stories Est. Reading Time : 6 mins

This will seem insane. And I'm not a professional psychiatrist (hell, not even an amateur one), so I can't say for certain that the events described herein have little or any bearing on my behavior. But as I can't think of anything else that might have been the case, this is my best guess for why I am the way I am when I get an inkling that a woman is ...